


Secrets and Lies

by Jofi80



Category: Major Crimes (TV), The Closer
Genre: F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Lesbian Sex, Marriage, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:47:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jofi80/pseuds/Jofi80
Summary: What if you were secretly in love with your best friend?What if your best friend was secretly in love with you?Secrets and lies could destroy them, but it could also set them free.
Relationships: Brenda Leigh Johnson/Sharon Raydor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 29





	1. I want to feel

Brenda slowly meandered her way through her dimly lit and mostly silent apartment.  
After the stress of the past few months, and especially the last few days, a little time of quiet isolation was exactly what she needed.

The wooden floors were deceptively cool beneath her bare feet, but she continued in an unhurried manner to her destination.  
She quietly revelled in the chill of the air that the air conditioning unit provided, thankful that it was quickly helping to cool her overheated skin that lay bare beneath her short, blue silk robe.

In fact, the contrast of the cool air mixed with the silky fabric brushing against her naked skin, was causing her sensitive nipples to harden almost painfully, and she couldn’t help the ripple of pure pleasure that pulsed through her body, before quickly pooling at her now tingling apex.

As she continued to walk, the pleasure invading her senses continued, and the need to alleviate the pressure growing between her legs intensified and consumed her every thought.  
She couldn’t help but rub her thighs softly together, desperately needing the friction and sighing softly at the gentle pleasure it brought her as she slowly reached for her large glass of pinot noir. 

She sipped the wine slowly, wanting to savour it – so much of life felt like a rush, like a blur, like she let things pass her by without ever fully noticing them or fully appreciating them.

So, she took the time to sensually roll the wine around in her mouth before swallowing, taking the time to revel in its deep, rich and earthy flavours.

In her present state of mind the irony was not lost on her that she was using it as a poor substitute for what she imagined Sharon Raydor’s most intimate and secret flavour to taste like – and just like the wine, she knew without a doubt that she would crave more of it – and immediately she took another much larger mouthful. 

Her overactive imagination and quickly rising libido only facilitated her fantasy that the flavour now overwhelming her taste buds was in fact the liquid essence that could only come from having buried her tongue deeply, rhythmically and repeatedly inside the other woman’s core.  
Thoughts of licking, kissing and sucking those silken folds whilst burying her senses in the heat, smell and texture of them, brought a sultry smile to her wine stained lips.

As she allowed those thoughts to continue, they began to overwhelm her already overactive mind, and her body greedily demanded a more physical type of contact – even if it was only to be by the grace of her own hand, yet again. 

If she took a moment to be truthful, she had in fact brought herself to climax several times using her own fingers whilst imaging them to belong to the auburn woman who unfortunately remained perpetually in the ‘best friend’ zone.

Using her fingertips, she slowly and lightly traced along her own collar bone, not wanting to rush her pleasure.  
She repeated the movement, running them back and forth, back and forth, until her body demanded that her touch become firmer and her fingers needed to become bolder. 

She moved them to dip beneath the deep v neck of her silk gown, and she closed her eyes as her hand softly began to make its way down her breast bone.   
Her warm palm felt delicious in contrast to the coolness of her skin, and she took a moment to allow her hand to settle over the curve of her right breast. She could feel her firm nipples push against her warm palm and she bit her lip in pleasure.

As usual, the deliberately imagined and much longed for touch of Sharon Raydor caused a wild fire of emotions to course through her now softly panting body ......... and as she rubbed her thighs together once more, her liquid heat began making its presence known at her ever pulsing centre. 

She wanted more ...... her body craved it, it demanded it.

And it wouldn’t be the first or probably even the last time that she brought herself off, or allowed someone to bring her to climax by imaging that it was in fact Sharon Raydor who had done so.

Her hand traversed her rapidly heated and glistening skin that was still partially hidden by her silk robe.  
She pushed at the material, causing the ties to loosen, and her eyes popped open, allowing her an intoxicating view of her glistening folds. 

Just as her hand was about to touch her silken folds, she froze.

She could physically feel the heat of her desire emanating from her core, and it was tempting her, teasing her.

\- but before she could act on it, a wave of such intense guilt overwhelmed her that it caused a frustrated sob to immediately leave her throat. 

It led to her deliberately wrenching her own hand away from her still traitorously aching body.

“Goddamnit!” she hollered into the empty apartment, her voice echoing in the lonely silence that only moments earlier she had found contentment in. 

Her eyes began to water, filling with tears of self pity and regret and shame caused her to drop her chin to her chest in defeat.  
Numb fingers angrily clutched at the wine glass - it may as well have been a poisoned chalice for all the desire she had to continue drinking from it.

“You know better than this!” she exclaimed to herself in the darkness.

She knew that the relief and pleasure she would obtain from her fantasies and orgasm would only be brief..... but the hollow and shameful feeling would linger.

Because there was always shame.

Over the years she had tried to resign herself to the fact that nothing would ever happen between them, at least not in the carnal sense.   
But it was most definitely not for of the lack of desire or wanting on her part. 

In fact, how she had managed to keep her hands, her lips and her most secret desires to herself during the years of their friendship was itself a miracle.

Even self-denial was futile, because however much she tried to deny it, she wanted Sharon with every fibre of her being – she was just to chicken to do anything about it. 

Ultimately she was afraid of rejection ..... and the fear of losing the best friend that she had ever had.  
In fact, Sharon was the only best friend that she had EVER had.

During prolonged periods of deep melancholy at her situation she sometimes wondered how Sharon had never figured out her secret.  
It baffled her how Sharon remained oblivious to the deep, intense, attraction and love that she had harboured for her all these years.

How could she have missed the heated glances that Brenda desperately tried not to send her way?

Or how her eyes would follow her from the moment she entered a room until she left?

The only answer she had was that Sharon had never, not even once, looked at her in any way but as that of a ‘friend’. 

And even years later, Brenda still struggled with the hurt that answer caused her. 

Sometimes she wished she could erase from time the moment that she fell in love with Sharon.  
But, it happened so gradually that she wasn’t even sure when her feelings for Sharon had exactly changed. 

It escaped her how those feelings had gone from being ambivalent and combative to enamoured and infatuated. 

But they had.

And time was not helping her to move on, because every single day it hurt just a little bit more knowing that nothing would ever come from it. 

It left her wondering, not for the first time, if she should finally cut her losses and move on ..... both emotionally and by putting significant physical distance between them. 

At first, to try and deal with the heartache that this situation caused her, Brenda had attempted to let their ‘friendship' be enough – but now, with Talia firmly in the picture, it was beginning to take more of a heavy toll on her heart, her mind and her wellbeing, and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

So, she had learnt to use emotional detachment as a mask.  
But it was gradually breaking down.  
The cracks becoming clearer for those around her to see and so to begin to question. 

As a consequence, several times she had had to reassure herself, as well as others, that she was fine ..... 

She couldn’t bear for them to pity her if they found out that she was struggling to cope with her one-sided attraction. 

So, she lied. 

She would try and convince herself by vocally exclaiming that she was happy for Sharon.  
That she was happy that her best friend was “happily" involved and committed to another woman.

But even now she wasn’t entirely sure that she ever convinced herself.  
Not really.

It frustrated her, because after all these years and different partners that Sharon had had, she should be used to this feeling of jealousy.

Talia wasn’t the first relationship that Sharon had become involved in during their friendship.  
In fact, she had lost count,.  
All she could remember was having to feign interest in the various ladies that Sharon had become enamoured with. 

Because that was what friends were supposed to do right? 

You were supposed to listen to them talk about their dates.

You were supposed to ohhh and ahhh over the romantic moments and even occasionally feign jealousy at their ‘exciting and intense' sex lives. 

But, simultaneously smiling, whilst being supportive and encouraging, came at the expense of having to overlook the fact that your heart was also breaking.

However, she managed it ...... for a while, until it became too much for her.

It was then that she became adept at either changing the subject during such conversations, or acting like her upbringing made her shy about talking about such blatant things. 

This angle had been relatively successful at first ........ until it repeatedly led to Sharon teasing her relentlessly about her alleged ‘shyness'.

It quickly escalated to Sharon deciding to make it her mission to cure Brenda of her “prudishness" by being even more open about sexual things, and then asking Brenda a multitude of questions about her own dating and love life. 

God how she had hated those times!

It only stopped when Brenda made it clear she had no interest or time for a dating or sex life at this point in her life.  
– A fact, which if she thought about it, Sharon had accepted a little too easily and almost with a deep sigh of relief.

The irony was though, the more prudish and self-conscious a persona that Brenda portrayed in front of Sharon, the more flagrant and unreserved she became in her private life......

With no one to answer to Brenda began seeking out multiple meaningless one-night stands, with both male and female partners.  
She had slept with more people in the last year than she had throughout her entire life prior to that point.

And for the most part she kept that part of her life hidden, well apart from ‘aspects' of it to Andrea and her fiancée Mindy.  
Thanks to Mindy’s career as a doctor, she had helped to get Brenda out of more than one embarrassing sexual consequence! 

But, it was getting to the point where they were becoming concerned at her recklessness, rather than impressed at her prowess or amused at the situations she managed to get herself into.

However, she did not share a single solitary detail with Sharon.  
She even went as far as swearing Andrea, and especially Mindy, to agree to secrecy, despite their confusion as to the need for it. 

The simple fact was that she didn’t want Sharon to be made aware of her increasingly reckless and risky sexual behaviour in case it accidentally led to further revelations as to why she was behaving in that manner in the first place. 

It was just simply easier for Brenda to pretend she was practically celibate, rather than have to deliberately and repeatedly lie to Sharon.

Only now it was different...... 

...... because Sharon’s ‘latest’ relationship was different.

Sharon had never had the multitude of sexual partners that Brenda could claim to, but Sharon was not shy when it came to dating or sex.  
In all honesty, she was no doubt a catch, in every single sense of the word.

She had once told Brenda that she considered herself to be more of a ‘relationship' person than a ‘one-night stand' person.  
Claiming that she preferred sex to mean something. 

But, having unfortunately been forced to meet some of Sharon’s former partners, it only made her wonder more why THOSE people could “mean" something to Sharon and yet she, herself could not.......

From what she had heard, this current one was much younger than Sharon.  
Details were scarce, but they had been introduced by Andrea and Mindy.  
It turned out that Talia was an event planner and they had hired her to arrange both their wedding and bachelorette parties.

Mindy and Andrea had more than once expressed their surprise at the developing relationship to Brenda. Going as far to claim that they had never gotten the impression that the career driven, money oriented, superficial and flirty young woman had appeared the slightest bit interested in pursuing a ‘relationship’ with Sharon. 

But, oh, wasn’t it great!! 

Brenda had long ago learnt to keep her opinions to herself, settling for just shrugging nonchalantly instead.

And whilst she wanted to be glad for Sharon’s and her claims of ‘happiness’, Brenda couldn’t help but repeatedly internally question it.  
But, as it wasn’t possible her to actually get clarification or seek reassurances regarding its truthfulness, as a consequence she physically kept away from it and ‘them' at all cost.  
In fact, she had yet to meet the woman who now appeared to have everything that Brenda had ever wanted – Sharon. 

It had been 6 months of having to avoid dinner invitations, coffee dates and social gatherings where she knew they would both be.  
The fallout was that she missed spending time with Sharon, in fact she barely saw her, but for her own sanity it had to be this way.

At first Sharon had been too wrapped up in the throes of infatuation to realise what Brenda was doing, or why she wasn’t ever there.  
But gradually Sharon began to question her absences, not quite linking the fact that she was never available when Talia was around.  
However, if she had to take the time required to piece together the evidence she would have discovered the unequivocal answer as to why.

Things for Brenda had escalated to the point that she couldn’t even bear to hear the woman’s name mentioned in her presence.  
She became adept at changing the subject, subtly leaving the vicinity and when all else failed, even tuning Sharon out altogether when she started to wax lyrical about the woman who could apparently do no wrong.

But it left her perpetually frustrated – emotionally, mentally and sexually – and as a result she was finding it increasingly difficult to even be around Sharon. 

Andrea and Mindy, their friends, had tried to question Brenda about her reluctance to meet Sharon’s new partner, but she stone walled them at every opportunity, citing the same lame excuses for her absences as she did to Sharon.  
Unfortunately for Brenda, despite Sharon being too engrossed in her new relationship to fully take notice of Brenda’s odd behaviour, it did not take as long for Andrea or her fiancée Mindy to pick up on it.  
And it left Brenda having to avoid her closest friends and hide aspects of herself from all of the people she cared about in her life. 

And it came at a price – and absolute loneliness and isolation was its fee.

At first her feelings for Sharon had frightened and threatened to overwhelm her.   
Because Brenda did not ‘fall’ in love – a fact both of her ex-husbands would happily testify to in court.

She grimaced as recalled how during the course of those marriages they would frequently label her as being ‘cold or unfeeling'.   
In particularly spiteful moments they remind her how ‘clinical' her emotional and physical responses were during sex with them.  
And though it hurt at the time, she had given them their due – because they were right, it most definitely was just the physical act of ‘sex' that she was present for, as anything else she would mentally and emotionally ‘check out'.  
Brenda could never classify what they did as ‘making love' – it was simply a means to an end....... and, as it turned out, so were both of her marriages.

It wasn’t that she didn’t always enjoy sex or sometimes crave it – but what woman honestly ‘came' EVERY single time from being pounded into like a piece of meat being tenderised? 

But the other side of that coin was that what woman could only come by thinking about their best friend whilst someone else manipulated their body?

When motivated she knew that she was talented in the bedroom, enough to keep a man interested and satisfied.  
– to be blunt, she could suck and fuck a cock like the best of them...... and she knew that she often used those skills to her advantage.

However, what she just couldn’t manage to do was keep herself interested.  
It was a struggle for her to last beyond a one-night stand, especially after the 2 cluster fuck marriages she had barely survived. 

So now, despite the repeated tediousness of having to listen to their boasts about their sexual prowess and how she’d be ‘begging for more’, she had no qualms about wounding their male pride by asking them to leave immediately after she was done with the sex and gotten what SHE wanted from it.  
The easily forgotten faces, and often nameless men in her life, were very much unaware that they were only, at best, receiving 10% of her attention.  
Especially when she was dedicated to finding her own release on the end of their penis - because the majority of the time she was using them she was fantasizing about a woman she could never, ever have.

As she gazed at her reflection in her balcony doors, Brenda continued to reflect on her sexual proclivities. 

For as many men as she had taken to her bed, the number of women far surpassed them.  
From a pleasure point of view, she actually preferred the female form. She would revel in the softness, the curves, the inner heat against her fingers and her tongue. 

But again, it was a part of herself that she kept hidden.

She could acknowledge that she could quite happily deride an equal amount, if not even greater pleasure, from being a willing participant on either end of a strap-on, as long as there was a beautiful woman along for the ride. 

More often than not, the thought of riding some smug man’s dick almost repulsed her.  
And if she was being brutally honest with herself, she actually preferred being on either end of a strap-on, not just because she was most definitely more saphically orientated, but because ironically it was the only thing that WAS ‘fake' in an otherwise overwhelming and emotionally physical release.

Despite still wishing her female partner was another woman, she actively revelled in the innate softness, curves and experiences that another woman’s body could provide her with.   
In fact, just the thought of the gentleness and passion that came from the caresses, the fleeting touches and the loaded glances that usually accompanied such encounters automatically had her rubbing her thighs together in pleasure once more. 

It had taken her many years to understand that she had never felt that way with a man – that she had never felt ‘complete' with a man, sexually or otherwise.  
Sure, she’d been left ‘satisfied’ in the carnal sense, but there was always something missing – there was always a part of herself that was missing.

But still she went back for more.

In some ways she did it to punish herself – she couldn’t be with the one she wanted, so she went with whoever caught her attention, or whoever could help her to forget, even for just moment, that her life was fundamentally shallow .... and empty ..... 

The simple truth was that Sharon had never so much as ever hinted at the fact that she regarded Brenda as anything more than a ‘friend’. 

And it wasn't even an easy ‘friendship'.

It was one that had all kinds of proviso's, unwritten rules and confusing and complicated limitations. 

In reality Sharon knew next to nothing about the ‘real' Brenda – but it was just more tolerable than not having her in her life at all.

..... although lately she was starting to rethink that idea.

Her resolve was slowly breaking down, piece by piece and she was beginning to wonder if perhaps, that maybe some distance, or some time apart would help her to forget the overwhelming desire that coursed through her veins whenever the other woman was in close proximity to her.

..... maybe it would help it to hurt less?

....maybe ..... it would also help her to finally give up and move on with her own life? 

Maybe she could learn to accept who she was and what she wanted out of a relationship and out of her life?

Maybe she could allow herself to actually ‘date’ women, without automatically comparing them to Sharon?

Maybe she had to finally let go of the illusion that Sharon would fall into her arms and declare her undying love......

.... and maybe moving away and starting over again would be the only way to do it.

Because if she couldn’t be with the one person she wanted to be with, then she certainly didn’t have the courage to admit to being, what?  
Bisexual? Gay? A lesbian?  
Instead of being sexually confused and scared to start a fulfilling relationship with another woman.

She shook her head wearily.

“When did it all get so fucking difficult?!” she stated to her empty apartment.

From her position in her spacious lounge she was still able to hear her bath continue to slowly fill. 

After the shit show of her working week and the perceived let down she then had to endure upon returning home, she found herself longing to soak her travel weary and emotionally taut body in the steaming hot water that would soon be awaiting her.

Sure, it wasn’t the evening she had been hoping for, but it was the best option she had - and to be honest, it was probably the healthiest option too for her at the moment. 

Her mind wandered back to her week-long work trip to Vancouver. 

It had been a series of monotonous meetings, followed by continuous briefings – with only brief interludes of one-night stands to help her pass the time.

She was lonely.

She had no ‘real life’ outside of work.

She was twice divorced – though completely and irrevocably relieved to be so.

Her career was not what she had pictured - she had basically been forcibly retired from the LAPD.  
The place had all but destroyed her, adding the final nail into the coffin of her long dead second marriage. 

And her mother’s unexpected and sudden death had only reinforced her emotional unavailability.

Sometimes she wondered if she had even grieved for her losses.... but she was nothing if not resilient, which is why she found herself working in yet another government funded job.

Sure, it paid the bills, but it also often kept her up at night, unable to sleep at the horrors she was in charge of preventing.

And she was alone – perhaps ‘lonely' was a more accurate description.  
She wasn’t lonely in the ‘carnal' sense ............. but emotionally she was barren.

Unless you counted Sharon....... and how their friendship came to be was still a mystery at times to Brenda. 

She had pushed the woman away so fiercely and so consistently whilst they were colleagues at the LAPD, but Sharon was persistent. 

Sharon had always been the ‘dominant' one in their friendship ..... relationship ..... friendship. 

It was a surprising dynamic and one that many people would not have expected in a million years.

This evening she had planned on seeing Sharon, having dinner, finally catching up and then maybe ending the evening with them snuggling up on her comfy couch and watching a movie...  
After a week that had actually felt to Brenda more like a thousand years, it seemed like the perfect ending.

They had messaged whilst she’d been away, even face timing when Brenda was able to get out of her briefings at a decent enough hour. 

But it felt different this time. 

Sharon seemed different. 

At times the soft lopsided smile that usually graced her elegant features seemed lacklustre and somewhat forced, as if she was reluctant to stay on the phone for too long.  
Occasionally Brenda would even see her physically flinch, as if in pain, when her girlfriends voice rang out in the background before she would then hastily end the call.

If only Sharon knew that each time she hung up the phone, Brenda’s heart shattered just a little more at feeling both the emotional and physical distance that seemed to be growing between them, only now from Sharon’s end.

She would find herself repeatedly wondering if Sharon even cared about her at all anymore.

Brenda glanced at her phone now laying silently on the dining room table.  
She’d ignored the earlier messages from her latest sexual partners enquiring if she’d be up for a repeat performance.  
She very rarely went back for seconds.  
It was her one cardinal rule. 

And she generally stuck to it. 

What happened whilst she was away, stayed in that city/state/country.

As far as Sharon was aware Brenda was practically a born again nun .... despite the fact that she would tease and taunt Brenda about her ‘allegedly' non existent love life.   
But Brenda would never rise to the bait and would simply smile, raise her eyebrow and give her a vague answer every, single, time.

In some ways it was self-preservation.  
She hoped that by not discussing her own shocking sex life that perhaps Sharon would also take the unspoken hint and not feel the need to mention her own..... with Talia.  
And granted that Sharon never went into explicit detail ..... except at times when she was tipsy ...... it still almost physically pained Brenda to have to listen, feign interest and then pretend that it wasn’t breaking her heart.

Maybe that’s why she only sought physical comfort with random people in random places. 

Nameless, faceless one-night stands.  
No emotions.  
No emotional connection.  
And unfortunately, more often than not, completely unfulfilling sex.

She shook her head in shame as she placed her wine glass down upon her cluttered glass dining table, leaving her phone in its place, and making her way back to her ensuite.

The essence of lavender permeated the steamy bathroom and she breathed in deeply, hoping the aroma would aid her restlessness. 

She checked the temperature of the water before turning off the ornate taps and then carefully lit the candles surrounding the claw foot bathtub before turning off the bright overhead light. 

She hoped the relaxing atmosphere would help calm her, and more importantly calm her recently raging libido, .... hence her most recently full week of meaningless, repetitive and rampant sex.

In fact, her body still ached uncomfortably from the force and duration of her last male partner’s penetration ....... but that was how she had wanted it.... hard, fast, painful and soulless...... and boy had she gotten it that way!

His kisses had been rough, bruising and possessive ...... and they lacked finesse.   
But she had taken them all, even though she felt no passion for him whatsoever.

She couldn’t even remember his name now .... Mark? Matt? Mason?

In fact, she couldn’t be entirely certain that she had even bothered to ask it at the time.  
It was simply superfluous to her requirements – especially because there was no chance she would be shouting it out in pleasure.

However, what she could vividly remember was the bruising force and the repetitive noise of flesh meeting flesh as he took her fiercely from behind. 

He’d had no interest in her release – he had just pounded away, the force of his hips pushing his larger than average member deeper than she had thought possible, and it was definitely a more painful than pleasurable experience. 

But she had never said ‘stop' – she felt it was the consequence her actions had demanded in recompense for her reckless behaviour.

“Come on baby,” he had cried. 

“You know you love it!  
I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re going to be cross eyed at end of it!”

...... the sound of slapping flesh and his grunts of pleasure as he thrust into her only momentarily paused his smug monologue. 

“Fuck ...mmmm... yeahhhhhh ..... you like that?  
You like that, don’t you?” he moaned, now yanking on her hair to pull her neck to the side before biting it, not caring if he marked her delicate flesh.

“I can go all night baby ... mmmm ....uhhh.... mmmm, .... god! you’re so fucking tight! I can’t get enough!” 

The force of his actions cause the headboard to bang repetitively against the wall, and she prayed the people in the room next door were out, or at least hard of hearing.

“Tell me you like it baby!  
Tell me you want it harder! Fuuuuckkkkk!!” he moaned as he squeezed her hips possessively.

And like all men, he had still been expecting the obligatory cries of pleasure to leave her kiss swollen lips – even if from their latest sexual position, he could not see the brief flickers of pain that crossed her features at his ferocious and unrelenting tempo.

Brenda fought to keep herself from gasping in pain and instead managed to utter; “oooh..... hmmm..... right there!! Don’t..... don’t stop ......” 

And that was before the humiliation of then having to endure the pretence of repeatedly clenching her inner muscles to make him believe that she too had orgasmed when he had finally finished. 

Her body registered surprised shock at feeling his intrusive hot seed spurting inside her, the condom obviously not having survived their furious activities.

As she perched on the side of the bath, still lost in the memory, her body now clenched in painful recollection of feeling him roughly pulling out of her, before slapping her ass and falling into a panting, sweaty and smug pile beside her on the bed.  
He hadn’t even seemed to notice that she remained silent and face down in the same position he had finally finished off with her in. 

His cum was now trickling down her inner thighs, making her feel more worthless and dirtier than she had ever felt before.  
For once she was thoroughly ashamed, and her heart clenched in fear of what Sharon would think of her were she to ever find out.

She laid there listening to his heavy breathing, silently wishing for him to take the hint and leave, but instead he slid his clammy hands along her damp back and caressed the curve of her ass. 

His intrusive touch didn’t stop there.

His hand found its way back between her legs, his finger tips feeling the dampness his seed had left as it leaked down her thighs. 

“Guess you’ll need to take care of that, huh, baby?” he had stated as he slid his less than dexterous fingers between her legs and began pushing insistently at her throbbing and aching centre. 

“You’re on the pill aren’t you?  
Of course you are!  
Stupid question I guess, but ....” he paused his ministration between her sore lips and instead pulled the useless and torn condom off of himself.... “you just never know nowadays, you know?”

And still Brenda had stayed silent.

Instead, she used his distraction to leave the bed and make her way quietly to the bathroom, throwing his shirt and pants back in his direction on the thoroughly messed up bed and closing the door firmly behind her.

“Fuck!” she muttered to herself, wincing as she slowly sat on the toilet and relieved herself. 

She rested her head in her hands, petrified at the possible consequences of her latest bout of recklessness.

Unbeknownst to her, because of the closed door, she had no idea that the man she was silently berating had taken it upon himself to enter his name and number into her cell phone and then used it to call his own to get her number before deleting the call from her cell log entirely.

“What the hell am I doing?” she asked herself sadly, as she used a damp cloth to wipe away his cum from between her legs and off of her thighs.  
She took her time, hoping he would be gone before she came back out.

Unfortunately, it seemed luck was not to be on her side.

She could feel his gaze as she began to tie her robe more tightly around her body, missing the gleam of unbridled appreciation in his eyes. 

She internally sighed in relief at the fact he was starting to get dressed.

Her eyes inadvertently flickered towards his crotch and he took that as an invitation to try to initiate another round of sex as his flaccid penis immediately sprung back to life after a few pumps of his hand along its veiny shaft.

“See something you like?” he queried as he stalked towards her. 

He quickly pulled off her robe before picking her up and encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist before backing her up against the closest wall.

She could feel him rubbing himself against her core and she was shocked, gasping loudly when he actually managed to find her clit with its head.

“What about one for the road?  
Bare back?  
I want to feel you baby ... you’re so fucking tight .....” he rasped as he roughly grabbed her breasts and pulled at her nipples.

She knew she should push him away, she wanted to, but she also wanted to punish herself for repeatedly putting herself in such dangerous situations.  
So, instead she nodded her head and watched the smug gleam in his eyes as he swiftly entered her, again without even bothering to check that she was ready for him.

She all but screamed in a mixture of pain and shock. 

She bit her lip harshly to keep her pain to herself, but she didn’t push him off, not even when he began biting her breasts and her head began to hit the wall behind her as he pushed into her, again and again and again.

Thankfully, despite his claims to the otherwise, he was not able to last as long this time and she found herself finally pushing his sweaty body away from hers, as she slid off of him and attempted to hide her disgust at once again feeling his seed drip down from her core to her legs.

He kissed her cheek and suggested they order room service before going again so he could replenish his energy.  
And he seemed genuinely surprised when she declined, stating that she had a flight later that evening to catch.

“What a shame”, he mock pouted as he bit her neck again and forcefully kissed her goodbye after finishing dressing.  
“I’ll call you,” he confidently claimed as she ushered him out of the door and locked it firmly behind him.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” she hissed, banging her forehead against the locked door after each word.

“You are so FUCKING stupid!”

She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs ...... but what good would it do?  
She’d be back doing it again in a matter of days.  
She never seemed to learn, and her remorse was always short lived.

Her thighs still felt sticky with his seed, her alabaster skin was permeated and scented with his sweat and it made her want to physically be sick. 

She covered her mouth with her hand, quickly making her way to the bathroom, her hands struggling to hold in her retching as she finally dropped to her knees on the cold tiled floor and emptied her stomach into the toilet.

She couldn’t stop, all she could feel was the burning and bitter taste of bile, followed by stinging, self-pitying tears blinding her eyes. 

Her breath came in short sharp gasps as she lay her cheek against the cool porcelain seat, sweat beading on her brow as her body felt too hot, then too cold, then too hot again.  
She wiped away her tears, angry at the pity her body appeared to have for itself and frustrated at its weakness.

Sharon.

She wanted Sharon. 

She wanted to hear her voice, to feel her arms around her ...... and she wanted to beg for her forgiveness.  
But she couldn’t do that, no matter how much she needed or craved it. 

It was then she checked her cell phone, deliberately having ignored the messages and missed calls that had come through during her evenings escapades - 3 missed calls and 7 text messages, most from Sharon and few from Andrea.

She silently cursed herself for being so angry at Sharon’s perceived shunning of her earlier that evening that she hadn’t noticed them before now.  
She immediately opened them, desperate to find out if Sharon was ok.

‘Hey you x'

The first one read.

And then 30 minutes later:

‘I’m sorry I missed your call earlier, it seems like that’s all we do lately – miss each other.  
I was hoping we could catch up, I just wanted to hear your voice.... to see how your day was ..... if you’re living off vending machine snacks and bad room service.   
It feels like you’ve been gone forever! 

Then there was a message from Andrea.

“Brenda, can you call Sharon – she’s worried about you. She said you’re not answering your calls and now I have to deal with her freaking out that you’re possibly dead in a Canadian gutter somewhere!  
Call her! Now!”

An hour after that there was another message from Sharon:

‘Are you mad at me Bren?  
I didn’t deliberately ignore your calls, I would never do that.   
It’s been crazy here today and I was in the middle of interviewing our suspect – he was a real piece of work, but we got him!  
It’s been a long day Bren, and I just wanted to hear a friendly voice...... I really wanted to hear your voice.  
I was hoping you’d, you know, call me back ... or message ... or something .... anything.  
I miss you. x'

Then another one from Andrea.

“Mindy seems to think you’re ‘sleeping', my bet is you’re definitely ‘in' bed, but doing everything EXCEPT sleeping!  
I hope you at least got their name this time!  
I’ve tried to calm Sharon down, but if you can tear yourself away from your latest conquest, maybe you can, you know, send her a quick message to save me from having to spend my evening fire fighting for you! 

Jesus! I just wanna smack both your heads together! You miss each others calls and whilst Sharon goes straight into panic mode, I’m guessing you’ve gone into straight into ‘Penis' mode.  
You know we love you Brenda, but, we are going to have to have a serious chat when you get back – and no excuses this time either!

Ps. Bloody call Sharon!  
P.PS Do it NOW!!

And finally, 90 minutes after that, there was another message from Sharon:

‘I guess maybe you’re sleeping?  
I kinda hope you are x  
I know how hard you work, and I’m so proud of you honey – I just really hope these messages haven’t woken you. Xx  
I just wanted to let you know that I will definitely be at the airport to collect you tomorrow evening...... surprise!  
I’d like us to grab some dinner, maybe drinks too and then catch up in person, just me and you ...... just like old times....... I miss that you know ..... so very, very much.  
We can have some quality .... friend .... time. 

Talia is .... busy ..... working late, or something 🤷♀️, so we can take our time together.  
Maybe you can fill me in on the joy’s of attending some of the government’s top secret conferences 😉!!  
Or you could fill me in on what I’ve missed these last few weeks ...... because I do miss you .... so much x  
Sleep well Bren 😴 .......I love you xx 😘’  
Ps. I’ll be awake for a few hours yet if you wake up and want to chat xx

Brenda sobbed out loud and threw her cell phone onto the used and stained sheets that now taunted her.

She had deliberately sought out a strangers company because she felt ignored by Sharon’s earlier unresponsiveness and lack of communication.  
Yes, it was childish, and yes, it most definitely was stupid...... she knew that, yet she still did it anyway.

Brenda knew she had no right to be jealous.  
But she was.  
BY god she was!

Sharon’s rejection fuelled her self destructive behaviour when it came to unhealthy coping mechanisms – like risky sex, because she was the one person whose attention and love Brenda craved most in the world.

The hotel alarm clock read 11.45pm and she knew, despite what Sharon had claimed, that she couldn’t call Sharon back.   
No matter how much she wanted to hear her calming tones, her gentle laugh or her tired sighs – simply because she wouldn't be able to admit what had kept her occupied for the last few hours. 

In a way, this too was her punishment.

Instead she made her way back to the bathroom.  
As she reached and turned the dial up to its hottest setting she noticed the beginning of green bruises blossoming on the delicate skin of her wrists – another reminder she would have to hide of her secret life. 

If it wasn’t so tiresome, she would cry! 

Because somewhere along the way, in the various beds, bathrooms, cloakroom and wherever else she had random sex, she had lost herself ..... she had lost her self worth, her self respect and she didn’t know who she was anymore.

The thoughts ran riot in her already aching head and she wanted to lash out ..... settling instead for tearing off her robe and throwing it into the bin – knowing that not even a boil wash, or all the ‘holy water' in the world would remove the sins from its fibres or her flesh.

Having not tested the water first, the immediate and unbearable heat of it physically shocked her exhausted body, and she had to fight against the natural urge to remove herself from its extreme heat.  
She could feel each drop of the water as it burnt her delicate skin, the sensation was like a 1000 hot needles repeatedly piercing her. 

In some twisted way, she revelled in the pain ...... revelled in the distraction it gave her from having to think about her current situation. 

She set about repeatedly scrubbing her body from head to toe, leaving no orifice uncleansed in her futile attempt to get herself ‘clean' ...... and when she finished she simply began again ...... and then again ..... and then again.

The desperation to rid her body of the feeling of his clammy hands, the drips of his sweat and his sticky and violating cum possessed her, so that even when her fingers became prune like and wrinkled, and her skin had almost been scrubbed raw, she still felt the need to linger under the hot water and scrub some more.

It was only then that she cried. 

It was as if all of the pent up frustration, anger and pain came to a pinnacle and she sobbed, wishing away her stupid actions of the evening.

Eventually exhaustion overwhelmed her and her legs finally gave way.  
She slumped and sat curled up on the floor of the shower until the water finally ran ice cold and her state of mind had returned to the detached and unemotional one that allowed her to continue living the way she had been.

Her teeth chattered as she slowly raised her head taking in her surroundings.  
She raised herself from the ground, shivering uncontrollably whilst grasping the rough cotton hotel towel and using it to quickly dry her damp body.  
Her eyes never strayed downwards towards her body, not wanting to see any part of it, as at present it disgusted her.  
She dressed herself the same way, almost like a robot.

Her clothes felt foreign and uncomfortable against her scrubbed raw and now sensitive skin, but she had little choice but to tolerate it. 

She rubbed her tired eyes, feeling them burn through lack of sleep and the muscles in her small but firm body now began to actively protest at the forceful acrobatics of her earlier activities.  
As she tried to stretch out of her pain her glance fell briefly to the hotel bed.

It was a mess.

The sheets were partially torn from the mattress, the pillows were laying haphazardly all over the floor and there were still obvious ‘damp' patches.  
It was clear for anyone to see what had happened in this bed. 

The red lights beside the bed showed it was now 1.45am, but there was no way she was going to sleep now, especially not on that bed.  
Just its mere sight disgusted her.  
Instead she packed her belongings and checked out of the hotel, having no real plan and knowing her flight wasn’t until later that day. 

The cab driver had to ask her 3 times where she wanted to go before, she decided to make her way to the airport.  
Even having to pay an extortionate amount for the onsite hotel just so that she could be alone didn’t phase her – she simply handed over her credit card, barely speaking, just desperate to escape curious eyes.

But, even despite her change of location, she still did not sleep.  
Her conscience would not let her. 

And so instead she worked on some proposals, drafted some emails, all whilst repeatedly talking herself out of ordering a large bottle of wine from room service to help drown her sorrows.

After around 4 hours she convinced herself it was a more appropriate time to order coffee and breakfast from room service...... though in all honesty all she ended up doing was drinking 4 large cups of strong black coffee and half heartedly pushing the stack of unwanted pancakes around on the plate. 

She fought repeatedly with herself not to text Sharon back.  
Her pride wouldn’t allow it.  
It wouldn’t allow her to seek comfort in the woman’s velvet like voice – because she knew she didn’t deserve it. 

As she was lost in thought, her cell phone lit up with a new message.

‘I know it’s still early ....... you’re probably still sleeping ....... or you’re probably busy this morning and haven’t had a chance to reply to my messages yet, so don’t worry.  
I just got called in myself! ☹🤦🏻♀️  
I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I can’t wait to see you later tonight.  
Safe flight home Bren xx”

She must have read the message at least 10 times.

Oh, how she wanted it to be a message that a lover would send – in some ways it certainly felt more personable than a simple message between friends, but she knew deep down that she was deluding herself.  
And more importantly, she knew it wasn’t fair to Sharon..... even if Sharon had no real idea how she felt about her.

“I’ll do better!” she swore to herself.

“I’ll be a better friend. A better person.”

She counted the hours until it was finally time to board her flight home.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who are reading this fiction, and for the awesome comments.  
> Enjoy Sharon's pov for chapter 2 xx

Chapter 2. Secrets and lies

It had been a long day in the tumultuous and often crazy world of Major Crimes. 

Their latest case had only just closed, having finally charged their smarmy bastard of a suspect, who had killed his young starlet wife in order to claim the insurance money to pay off his astronomical gambling debts.  
It had been tiring beyond belief, especially having to deal the frustrating shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy, aka Flynn and Provenza, at same time.  
For a pair of grown men, and lieutenants at that, they needed more care and attention than her children did when they were toddlers ..... 

All Sharon found that she really wanted to do this evening was relax, enjoy a chilled glass of wine and hopefully speak to her best friend.  
Who was finally reciprocating her friendship advances (at least!) once again. 

The idea of using this downtime to reconnect with her ... what? Girlfriend?, partner?, occasional fuck buddy?..... it was not high on her agenda.  
Which in itself should have made it obvious to her how little she was emotionally invested in the woman she had been ‘seeing' for the last 6 months.  
Because, was it really classed as a ‘relationship' if they never stayed overnight with each other?  
If they never said, ‘I love you?'  
If they never discussed the ‘next level?’  
If only one person was getting anything out of them being together?  
.... unless you counted being used and abused as signs of a healthy and happy coupling....

It was frustrating for sure!

But in another way, if she couldn’t be with the one she actually loved..... then why not just be with the one who seemed to want you?

Sure, it wasn’t a romantic concept, but at this stage in her life she just wasn’t sure what options she actually had available to her.  
And Talia HAD seemed to want her .... at least at first. 

Now Sharon found herself wondering if convenience, her wealth and her vulnerability had just made her an easy target for a much younger, money driven and self-serving woman.

She felt like she was at Talia's beck and call.  
When Talia called, she would drop everything to do what was asked of her by the other woman. 

To the ‘outside' world, their ‘relationship' seemed a content one – and Talia was ALL about appearances. 

Sometimes Sharon found herself wondering when she had exactly lost her backbone and self-confidence to the extent that she now had. 

But it wasn’t the major thing she mourned the loss of ...... because that would be Brenda.

Just the thought of that wayward blonde brought an automatic smile to her face.  
A smile that she felt had been missing for the past six months, just like the blonde-haired woman herself.

They had seen each other so rarely during that time frame, that for all intents and purposes, that sometimes she wondered if Brenda was just a mere figment of her imagination, or a distant memory that was slowly fading over time  
...... but the pain she felt at her loss was NOT fading. 

And by fuck, the distance between them had hurt her. 

She was never one to broadcast her emotions.  
In fact, if her subordinates were ever to see a softer side of her then they would probably die immediately in shock.   
Her reputation as the ‘wicked witch’ was not for nothing – she had earnt every fucking letter of the nickname her colleagues would NEVER dare say to her face.

Apart from Brenda.

Brenda was fearless.

And at first, they had HATED each other......  
..... ok, perhaps hate, was too strong a word ...  
....... but, their interactions were NEVER positive ones, and they always left Sharon torn between wanted to smack the vicious words right out of that wide, full lipped mouth ...... or sit on it until she finally CAME because of it ... and inside of it....

As she sat and sipped the deep, dark and rich Merlot, that had always been Brenda’s drink of choice, she wondered when her feeling for the blonde-haired beauty had begun to change.  
When had she gone from actively loathing the woman, to now staying awake at night and wondering what faceless person was currently keep her bed .... and her body warm.

And she hated it!  
Jealousy consumed her every time her tortured mind dared to imagine another hand but her own touching her, or another pair of lips caressing hers.

Even now, she could feel a deep pull between her legs at the thoughts of what she would do, or let be done to herself, for and by the woman that she had fallen head over heels in love with.

And the absolute kicker – was that Brenda was as straight as a goddamn arrow!

She sipped her wine, savouring it and rolling it around in her mouth, before swallowing deeply.

The flavour of wine tingled her taste buds, as she briefly wondered what Brenda would taste like if she were to run her tongue deeply through her silken folds. 

Would she be a bold and rich flavour?  
Or a sweet and subtle one?

As her thoughts continued, she shifted herself lower onto her soft couch, unbuttoning her slacks and running her index finger along the lace waistband of her panties.  
As her thighs rubbed against each other for a desperate hint of friction, she could feel how wet she already was, how wet thoughts of Brenda ALWAYS made her.

Many a night she had taken her own pleasure imagining that it was Brenda’s hand that was making her come...... or Brenda brandishing the fake cock that she used to plunge into herself as she panted then screamed out in pleasure as she came all over it.

If she were being honest with herself, sometimes, well, most times, the only way she could actually orgasm with Talia was to pretend that the other woman was Brenda..... she was just thankful that she had only ever screamed Brenda’s name out in her mind, and not when they were between the sheets.

Her finger slipped lower, her zipper pressing into the back of her hand only increasing her ardour.  
When she encountered pure liquid heat she couldn’t help but push her finger past her tight band of muscles, feeling them flutter in pleasure as she pumped her finger in and out, in and out, before adding her middle finger into the mix.  
The slight stretch and burn made her moan out loud, her glass of wine now held precariously between fingers that were shaking as she concentrated on not coming that exact second.

Her heat was like a fire.  
She was literally burning up from the inside out at the thoughts that Brenda was the one manipulating her digits between her legs.  
The pulse of liquid that coated her fingers and leaked onto her palm only increased as she began a slow and steady rhythm, curling her fingers to hit that little rough patch of skin that made her blood sing.  
She bit her lip as she could hear the noises that her fingers made as they entered and left her body, her arousal and level of wetness had NEVER been an issue when she used Brenda as her motivation.....  
....... however, with Talia, much to the other woman’s disgust, she had had to rely more and more on assistance from a bottle for lubrication.

“Mmm, uh, uh, uhhhhhh,” she continued to bite her lip, close to the point of drawing blood, as she could feel herself getting closer and closer to the edge. 

She reached forward to haphazardly place her wine glass on the low table in front of herself.  
Not caring if it fell to stain her pale cream carpet.

Her hips started to undulate in a counter rhythm to her insistent fingers, and she slipped her now empty hand into her bra, palming her heaving chest and squeezing the flesh between her demanding fingers.

She imagined Brenda kissing and licking her throat, evening turning her head to press it against the pillows at the imagined pressure and ghost of lips that were only in her mind.  
But it wasn’t quite enough.

The sticky moisture covering her palm made it easy for her to push another finger into her tight and now fluttering channel.  
“fuuuuuccccckkkk!” she all but screamed, at the fullness.  
Not caring if her continued flowing juices stained her couch cushions. 

She felt hot air whisper against her ear, and the imagined southern accented words that were her undoing.

“You are so goddamn beautiful, baby.  
I love how tight and wet you feel around my fingers....” 

she felt her fingers pump deeper and faster, her hand squeezing her nipple to pleasurable pain, .....

“you’re gonna come so hard for me baby.  
You’re gonna come all over my hand .... and I’m gonna lick EVERY. SINGLE. DROP. OF. YOU. UP.”

“Bren, bren, been, brrrrreeeennndddaaaa,” she began to chant in her silent and empty apartment.

“Come for me baby!  
Come so I can put my mouth on you and make you scream all over again as I push my tongue inside you, over, and over, and over, and over ... again!”

“Brrrrreeeeennndddaaa!!” she screamed, her hips pumping furiously against her own hand as she imagined Brenda pushing her through her orgasm and onto the next, leaving no space for breath.

“I.....I....I .....llloooo....ahhh,uh,uh,uh ....ve yyyòòoouuu!”

Her hand stilled, her fingers remaining in place as the fluttering and clenching of her pussy held onto them, milking the last drops of pleasure from her now exhausted body.  
She could feel her come slickening the tops of her thighs and covering her hand, but it wouldn’t stop. 

It had NEVER been this intense before.  
She found herself moaning as she imagined Brenda following through on her ‘imagined statement' of licking up EVERY SINGLE DROP, and it cause her to pull her fingers from the still fluttering heat and push them into her open and panting mouth. 

She moaned around her fingers, rubbing her thighs together, but finding no friction thanks to her thighs, panties and trousers being saturated with her own juices.

Instead, she had to take satisfaction from licking her fingers clean, the lightly musky but heady tang mixing with the merlot she had earlier consumed.... and she all but came again, imagining it was the mingled combination of how Brenda and she would taste when combined together.

Her head fell back against the couch cushions, her hand finally clean and falling from her soft, pink lips.

She sighed deeply, as a mix of satisfaction, tempered with shame filtered through her tired body.  
It was always the same after this happened..... after this she gave in to her ‘needs’, both physical and emotional.  
She knew she should feel appalled at her actions, at imagining her straight best friend pleasuring her and whispering words that she knew would never leave the other woman’s pouty, enticing mouth..... but sometimes, okay, a LOT of times, she just couldn’t help herself.

She often wondered how Brenda remained so oblivious to her blatant attraction and desire for her.  
Most of the time when they were together Sharon found herself unable to look away from those wide, pouty lips, as well as struggling not to reach out and touch the soft golden curls that adorned a face she couldn’t help but find attractive.  
With caramel coloured eyes that penetrated her very soul .... and had made her incredibly wet on more than one occasion when they were directed at her.  
Not to mention that tight, yet curvaceous figure, adorned with the most incredible naturally large breasts that she had ever seen. 

She often found herself daydreaming about what colour Brenda’s nipple might be ... perhaps a soft, dusky pink ..... and what they would feel like as wrapped her lips around them and suckled them until she made the other woman purr in pleasure.

Christ! Just thinking about it had her hand reaching for the waistband of her panties again.  
Never had she been so quickly turned on or so wet for another person in her life.  
Her libido felt like it was out of control the moment Brenda entered her thoughts ..... which more often than not, was every other minute of every single day.

She felt like a hormonal teenager, unable to control herself – even having to resort to carrying a few extra pairs of panties, in a small discrete bag in the bottom of her purse, to change into when they became saturated in her juices and arousal.

“Goddamnit!” she hollered, yanking her hand away from her centre just as her fingers grazed through the neat strip of wiry hair and pushed through her outer lips into the heat and moisture that was still abundant beneath them.

She rubbed her face wearily, smelling her arousal that still lightly lingered on her fingers.

“Arggghhhh!  
Why do I do this to myself!!”

She kicked out at her coffee table, her abandoned wine glass wobbling precariously with the deep red merlot coating its sides before settling once again.

Her cell phone lay silently beside her, not even a message from her erstwhile ‘girlfriend’ flickered on her screen..... and unfortunately, no response from Brenda to her previous messages.

She tried to be blasé with her first text, deleting her words several times until she came up with the innocuous:

‘Hey you x'

She shook her head in remembrance.  
“What a fucking idiot!” she murmured, quickly downing the rest of her red wine before reading her next unanswered message that she had sent 30 minutes later - 

‘I’m sorry I missed your call earlier, it seems like that’s all we do lately – miss each other.  
I was hoping we could catch up, I just wanted to hear your voice.... to see how your day was ..... if you’re living off vending machine snacks and bad room service.   
It feels like you’ve been gone forever!’

If desperation was a person, then it would look like me, Sharon mused, turning the phone around and around in her hands, as if willing it to ‘ping' with a response from Brenda.

She pushed herself tiredly up from the couch, sighing deeply at the pains her tight and stressed muscles were making on her back, as she walked slowly towards her bedroom.

It used to be one of her favourite rooms in her apartment.... now it felt tainted somehow ....

It had once been a room that had contained happy memories of Brenda.  
Nights they spent laughing at some sappy romantic lifetime movie, whilst eating snacks and laying closer than propriety would usually allow for ‘just’ friends. 

Some nights they would fall asleep curled up against each other beneath the covers, limbs entwined and breaths mingled.   
It made Sharon wish that it was her reality, her everyday life ..... but it wasn’t, it could never be ..... because, because, Brenda had never, not once looked at her as anything more than a friend. 

And why would she? 

Brenda was a good 10yrs younger than her. 

She was beyond beautiful, smarter than anyone she had ever known, and beneath her cocky, flirty and sometimes brash southern demeanour, was a woman whose heart was as gentle as a summer’s breeze...... 

but she was straight ... 

100%, unequivocally straight......

..... unless she just didn’t find Sharon attractive ..... 

and that concept stung slightly more than knowing she was not the gender that appealed to the blonde-haired beauty.

Sometimes she wondered what Brenda would do if she kissed her.

Not the pecks on the cheeks that they usually participated in ..., though Sharon’s had at some point inadvertently strayed closer to the side of Brenda’s lips more than they did the apple of cheekbones.

But, IF Brenda noticed the not-so-subtle change in location, or the slightly longer lingering of lips against her soft skin ... well, she NEVER mentioned it.

Does this make me officially pathetic?  
Sharon lamented to herself, as she stripped her clothes from her body and made her way into her extravagant ensuite.

She half expected to see Brenda’s caramel-coloured eyes gazing at her from a bathtub full of bubbles.

She could almost feel the steam of the hot water against her sensitive skin, as she recalled how Brenda’s skin would glisten in the heat, and her hair would curl just that little bit more. 

So lost was she in her fantasies, it was like she could hear Brenda speaking to her from her memories.

\- ‘mmmm, Sharrr-oonn,’ the other woman would almost purr, raising her arm and watching the copious amount of bubbles slowly trail down her porcelain skin. 

She would then roll her head to the side to watch carefully for Sharon’s response.  
And, it was times like those that made Sharon wonder ... maybe, it wasn’t just a one-sided attraction.

.... but as quickly as that thought entered her frazzled brain, multiple more self-depreciating ones would replace it ..... 

‘what would she EVER, EVER see in you?’

‘You don’t deserve her.’

And Sharon would blush, furiously.

But she still couldn’t bear to distance herself – either physically, or emotionally.  
Maybe she was masochist? 

According to Talia, she was many, MANY things .... and NONE of them were particularly pleasant.

Or maybe Brenda was her kryptonite?  
Because these past 6 months, with minimal contact, had nearly killed her.

Her gaze fell back to that bathtub.

And her thoughts went straight back to Brenda.

She shook her head in shame at recalling how she would pretend that it was the heat of the room that was causing her reaction, and NOT the fact that the woman of her dreams was in her bathtub .... NAKED.

God, she both loved and hated that damn tub!

‘Oh, my, God!’ Brenda would then declare, lowering her shoulders beneath the bubbles and moaning.  
The sound was almost sexual, as the heat of the water relaxed her tired muscles, ‘I looovvveee this bathtub, mmm,mmmm.’

“You want me to be leave you two ‘alone' with each other, Brenda?” she had once smirked at her, trying to get the upper hand for once, the innuendo clear in her amused tone.

Brenda gazed at her coyly, as if seeing how far she could push the other woman.

It was purposeful, determined movements that found Brenda reaching forward and gathering some bubbles in the palms of her hands - giving Sharon a more than enticing view of the curves of her breasts, and even a shadow of a nipple - before making slow and deliberate eye contact and then blowing them in her direction. 

A whispered, “well, where would all the fun be in that?” followed by a quick wink and a disappearance underneath the water.

Sharon almost came in her panties.

In fact, if she didn’t know for absolute certain that she didn’t have a heart condition, she would have sworn that she was going into cardiac arrest...

Her heart was pounding, her pulse racing and her .... well, her pussy clenched, repeatedly and rhythmically- causing her to have to reach for the countertop in order to steady herself.

It took EVERY, SINGLE, OUNCE of self-control she had not to strip herself naked and climb in the bathtub with her.   
In fact, for a brief heart stopping second, her hand toyed with button of her slacks, as she was desperate to feel Brenda’s naked, slippery and sexy skin against her own.

Instead, she had to settle for ruining another perfectly good pair of her panties, whilst pretending to occupy herself with an inane task in order to calm her raging libido.  
The tasks would range from slowly and methodically removing her makeup, whilst making several surreptitious glances at Brenda in the large mirror she faced, to emptying the clothes hamper a colour at a time.

But, sometimes she SWORE that she could feel Brenda’s eyes watching her, much like she used to a watch suspect – as if assessing her response ..... 

..... but that couldn’t be right .... she must just be imagining it.

There were just so many blurred lines between them.  
It was so confusing...

As she reached to turn on her large shower, she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror.

It was now Talia's voice that filled her head.

\- ‘You could really do with toning up a little, you know.’

-‘Is that a muffin top? What size are you?’- her lip curling in distaste.

\- ‘I’m not a fan of hair .... down there..., but, maybe it’s better that there IS ... something ...there to cover.... well, just to cover ... IT.’

\- ‘Do you actually moisturise?’

\- ‘I hope my breasts stay pert and firm,’ whilst eying Sharon’s older and apparently MUCH saggier ones. 

Followed by, ‘I know a client whose husband is a plastic surgeon....’

She had always thought herself to be body confident, even self-confident in general..... but each word that left Talia’s mouth was like another dent in the already damaged armour that was desperately trying to protect her wounded heart. 

At first, she had felt flattered at Talia’s attention. 

The other woman was significantly younger than her ... though not necessarily her type .... but seemed to ‘know' what she wanted, and she went after it.  
After all the indecision and the to and fro in her private life, it felt like a refreshing change, it ‘felt' easy.  
And who wouldn’t be flattered by the sexual attention – attention she wasn’t getting, nor would she ever get, from Brenda.

Not to mention, that it had been a while since she had actually ‘dated' anyone, unless you counted being Brenda’s ‘friend’, with no ‘benefits.’

Sure, she had had a few dalliances here and there.  
But she had always retreated when things became too serious, as that’s what Brenda seemed to do with their friendship during those periods.  
And if she had to choose, then there was no REAL choice to make – it would be Brenda.  
It would ALWAYS BE Brenda.

But after years of this uncertainty, for her own sanity, she had to draw a line in the sand. 

And Talia gave her the perfect excuse to.

She recalled she had once told Brenda that she was more of a ‘relationship' type person over one who just had sex with someone for the sake of it .... because sex and making love should MEAN something.  
Like she KNEW it would with Brenda.

But in this instance, in this particular situation..... she was a liar. 

Talia had been sex, nothing more, pure and simple..... at first...

Then it had turned into.., well, ...she wasn’t quite sure WHAT it had turned into .... but, things had changed, and whatever IT now was, was not what she had envisaged.  
Truthfully, it wasn’t even necessarily what she ‘wanted’ ..... but, she had yet to find the strength to leave ‘it’. 

She also had no one BUT Talia now.

Talia was her constant.

... well, if you could call only contacting her when she needed something - like money, sometimes sex – though Sharon was pretty sure that Talia was getting THAT pretty regularly elsewhere too, with multiple partners.  
Or wanting easy access to Sharon’s social circle for her own personal gain.

It worried her somewhat, but yet she still stayed, and she still forgave and gave in.... to everything...

She would overlook Talia’s promiscuity, because she would still seek Sharon out.

She overlooked the petulant, persistent and increasing demands for money, because Talia would become sweet and caring when she gave in.

She forgave the near constant insults, because, as Talia explained - she was only trying to help Sharon better herself... by pointing out ALL of her flaws.

She ignored the isolation she had to endure from her friends and family, because Talia’s friends and needs came first – and like Talia told her, she was selfish to think otherwise.

And she rationalized the uncompromising dominance and need for control that the other woman exhibited during their sexlife, because if she didn’t then Talia would disappear for weeks at a time, only returning when Sharon begged and promised to do whatever she wanted....

It made her feel weak, completely ashamed, and her cheeks flamed with humiliation as she thought about it.

But it was her life.

She glanced at her cell phone, a desperate need to ‘connect' with someone flowed through her.

But it wasn’t Talia she wanted to seek comfort and security in.

She began to type.

‘Are you mad at me Bren?’ 

(Please don’t be mad at me, I couldn’t bear someone else to hate me too, especially not you!)

‘I didn’t deliberately ignore your calls, I would never do that.’ 

(I’m not like Talia. I would NEVER manipulate you like that. I LOVE you!)

‘It’s been crazy here today and I was in the middle of interviewing our suspect – he was a real piece of work, but we got him!’

(At least one thing is going right in my life.)

‘It’s been a long day Bren, and I just wanted to hear a friendly voice...... I really wanted to hear your voice.’

(I need to hear your voice so much. I need you to tell me that everything is foing to be ok. I need to see you, hold you ...)

‘I was hoping you’d, you know, call me back ... or message ... or something .... anything.  
I miss you. x'

(I miss you so much it hurts. I’ll never be brave enough to tell you how much.)

It took her a good 10 minutes to decide whether or not to end the message with a kiss or not. 

But she was feeling raw, emotionally and mentally, which was why the, ‘I miss you’, slipped through her filter.

She hit send and quickly retreated to the shower, the hot water beating down fiercely on her skin, leaving red marks over the entirety of her body.  
But as she cleaned herself, she felt like she was fighting a losing battle – like she would NEVER be fully clean again.

Unbeknownst to anyone, but especially Talia, she had visited a sexual health clinic 2 weeks ago.  
It was not something that she had ever imagined having to do, especially not as close as she was to turning 50. 

As the nurse asked her reason for visiting, she had broken down.  
The shame, humiliation and terror at the consequences of what Talia may have subjected her to became too much for her trouble mind to deal with.

It took her a good 15-20 minutes to calm down enough to speak.  
And when she did, her voice was small and clearly indicated her anxiety and fear at being there.

“Erm,.... I, er... I think, well, I know.... that my girlfriend.... she is .... erm .... I mean, ... I don’t think ... I’m, well, I’m...not... the, erm... the only one .... she’s...erm, ...sleep.... having sex .... with...”

She was mortified.

“Honey?” 

The nurse waited for her to make eye contact.

“Was this sex with her .... consensual?”

Sharon broke down again, deep, heavy sobs leaving her now much thinner body - and both thanks to Talia.

“We can help you, honey.  
That’s what we’re here for.”

Sharon shook her head before replying miserably, “no one can help me.”

“It might seem like that now, but believe me, I will do everything I am able to do to help you.  
You’ve done nothing wrong, and you certainly didn’t deserve anything that brought you here.  
But, now that you are, please talk to me.  
Let me help you.  
Because I think, deep down, we both know that’s really why you came here.”

“It's my fault, it’s all my fault!” she now hissed angrily, swiping at her traitorous tears.

“I BEG her to come back!  
I PROMISE to change, to do WHATEVER she wants .....” She trailed off, shrugging tiredly.

“But it’s never enough, is it honey?”

Sharon looked at her, seeing a deeper recognition at the pain and shame that she herself was feeling.

“It won’t change, SHE won’t change, only YOU can, by deciding enough is enough.”

“I don’t think I can ....”

“Do you have any close friends or family that you could confide in, or seek support from?”

Sharon had shaken her head before responding, “not really, not anymore....”

“That’s a sign, honey.  
They isolate you so that they become your whole world.  
They make you believe that no one else would want you, or love you and because you feel so low and alone, you believe them.  
And then they hurt you .... and they’re sorry .... and the cycle begins again.  
But NONE of it is true!  
You ARE strong.  
YOU can stop this.  
And YOU can leave.  
And your friends and family WILL still love you, whatever you tell them.”

“But, the things I’ve.... done...., that I LET her .... do....”

Sharon began to sob once again.

“NONE of that was your fault, or even your CHOICE. And they will understand that.  
YOU will come to understand that, with help, support and maybe therapy, if that works for you.”

“I don’t know.... I just .... don’t.... know.....”

“Ok, honey.  
Let’s focus on checking you over, ok?  
I’m going to draw some bloodwork, we'll run some tests to check for anything ‘out of the ordinary' and then maybe, if you feel up to it, I could get Dr Gibson to come and check you over.”

At Sharon’s hesitance at talk of a Dr, the nurse quickly tried to reassure her.

“Lucy, I mean, Dr Gibson, is lovely.  
She has a lot of experience and she’ll be very gentle, so please don’t worry.  
You say ‘stop' at any time and she will.  
YOU are and will be in control the whole time. Ok?”

“Ok...” she whispered, holding out her arm ready for the nurse to take some blood.

She felt herself welling up again at the memory, it still felt so raw.  
SHE still felt SO raw.

How had her life come to this?

She was a Police Officer!  
A Captain of her own squad of elite detectives.... but in her private life ..... she was a what?  
A victim? 

Her scream echoed through the cubicle as she pounded her fists against the tiles.

How the FUCK had it come to this?!?!?

Only the pain that radiated through her fists to her wrists finally stopped her, and she tipped her face beneath the heavy flow of water, washing away her tears.

She felt dirty.  
So very, very dirty.  
Both inside and out.

She had to struggle NOT to scrub her pale skin red raw .... especially in her most sensitive areas ... but it was hard not to, so very, very hard.

Her body wash was quickly emptied, her body having been washed, rewashed and then washed again .... until the water ran cold .... like she wished her feelings would.

Only thoughts of Brenda made her leave the coldness, with hope, mixed with more than a little desperation, that she had replied to her last message.

Her body felt tired.  
Exhaustion seeped into her bones.

The towel she grabbed from the rail felt rough against her skin, and she tried not to look at her body, or the now fading bruises that marked her in certain areas. 

Because if she didn’t look, then she didn’t see them. 

And if she didn’t see them, then she didn’t think about it.  
And if she didn’t think about it, then maybe, just maybe she could forget that this hadn’t been her life for last few months.

She dropped the towel, not wanting to linger anywhere with a mirror, and not wanting to be naked for any period of time than was absolutely necessary, dressing as quickly as possible.

It felt like she was on autopilot.... which was how she lived most of her life now.

If only Brenda .... 

But wishes were useless.  
Much like Talia told her she was.

Sometimes she wondered what Talia saw when she looked at her ... apart from all the negatives, obviously.

Because, the only person that had ever taken the time to REALLY look at her, was Brenda.  
But her voice was fading from her consciousness.  
All the times Brenda had told her how beautiful she was –

“Mmm, honey, YOU look .... incredible! 

You are so beautiful .... 

I love that outfit on you, you look ah-maz-ing!

Did you cut your hair? No? It’s so shiny, I love how you’ve styled it.”

She took the time to see the vulnerable, selfless and caring woman –

“Honey, there was honestly nothing more that you could have done.  
You did your best.  
You amaze me with how you always put everyone first. But I’ve realised, that’s just who you are and what you do .... and I’m SO proud of you ... and so incredibly blessed that you are my .... fr.... that you are in my life.  
I couldn’t imagine EVER being ..... without you.”

Brenda had persisted in breaking down her barriers, even at the beginning when they were enemies.   
Even when Brenda wasn’t aware what she doing.

And she didn’t shy away from what she saw. 

She didn’t judge her. 

She didn’t belittle her. 

She didn’t try to change her.

But she had, in the last 6 months, hurt her. 

Her absence from her life had torn Sharon apart.  
It made her question all of things she had thought to be true.  
All of the things that Brenda had made her feel about herself .... when they were together. ..... such as being happy, cared for, contented..... and loved.  
Even if it would only ever be as a friend.

But Brenda had left her.  
She had abandoned her ..... and she didn’t know why. At least not for certain.

Only Talia kept coming back ....

She felt so confused.

Why wasn’t Brenda answering her?

Picking up her cell phone, glasses and a book, she made her way down to the guest room – not wanting to try and sleep in her bedroom. It just didn’t feel the same, not after everything, not after having used it with Talia.

As she crawled beneath the cool, soft, clean sheets, she pulled on her glasses and opened up her cell phone to the messages section.

Taking a deep breath, she began to type, more than a little scared at the vulnerability and insecurity she was feeling than she had ever felt in her adult life. 

She needed Brenda ......and if she had to ask for nothing more than a fresh start and friendship, then she would get down on her knees and beg, if that would solve whatever was keeping her away.

She began to type.

‘I guess maybe you’re sleeping?  
I kinda hope you are x  
I know how hard you work, and I’m so proud of you honey – I just really hope these messages haven’t woken you. Xx’

Her mind filled in the gaps with things she couldn’t say 

\- Oh, god! I hope you’re sleeping and not with someone else.  
Just the thought of someone else touching you, seeing you, kissing you .... making love with you .... it makes me want to curl up and die.

‘I just wanted to let you know that I will definitely be at the airport to collect you tomorrow evening...... surprise!’

\- I need to see you. You have NO idea how much I need you right now.  
Please, please don’t reject me....

‘I’d like us to grab some dinner, maybe drinks too and then catch up in person, just me and you ...... just like old times....... I miss that you know ..... so very, very much.  
We can have some quality .... friend .... time.’

\- I want to be SO much more than friends Brenda.  
I want to scream from the rooftops that I love you!  
I know I tell you that already, and I hope you feel that ... even if you only accept or view it as ‘friendship' love.  
I can’t be without you .... the distance between us is killing me....

‘Talia is .... busy ..... working late, or something 🤷♀️, so we can take our time together.’

\- Fuck!  
Why did I mention ... HER?!?!  
I’m such a fucking idiot!  
I don’t care where she is, or what, more like WHO, she is DOING.  
I chose you, Brenda!  
I CHOOSE YOU!

‘Maybe you can fill me in on the joys of attending some of the government’s top secret conferences 😉!!’

\- I will happily talk about the week-old yogurt still sitting in my fridge if that’s the only way I can be with you.  
We can sit in silence.  
Anything! 

‘Or you could fill me in on what I’ve missed these last few weeks ...... because I do miss you .... so much xx'

\- I want you to be happy, but please, for the love of everything holy, don’t break my heart any more than it already is.... but if you do .... if there was someone special for you .... I’d smile and try my best to be happy for you .... 

‘Sleep well Bren 😴 .......I love you xx 😘’  
Ps. I’ll be awake for a few hours yet if you wake up and want to chat xx’

\- I’ll wait for you forever if I have to.... because I do, I love you.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read and stay with my stories- your feedback and support is amazing, and I'm very grateful xx

Snapping her seatbelt shut, Brenda settled herself into her business class seat, dropping her large purse by her feet and glancing casually around the cabin.  
Maybe somewhat presumptuously, she quietly revelled in the fact that at present, it looked like she had no one sat next to her for the duration of her flight. 

She smiled her first genuine smile of her entire trip as she realised that she wouldn’t have to make awkward small talk, or pretend to be asleep in order to avoid dealing with a complete stranger, especially after her disastrous evening the night before.

Her mood improved further as she happily accepted the obligatory glass of complimentary champagne, and in celebration of her little piece of solitary luck, she decided to make a spontaneous little toast to herself: 

“Here’s to being a better person, a better friend and, to hopefully new and happier beginnings,” she whispered before raising the chilled glass to her still lightly bruised and tender lips, that were deftly camouflaged by her lipstick.

“Cheers to that!" came a melodious and lightly teasing voice to her right, causing Brenda to jump slightly in shock, inadvertently almost spilling her beverage on her navy silk shirt.

She couldn’t help but sigh softly to herself in frustration, before slowly turning to acknowledge the openly smirking, but surprisingly well dressed, willowy brunette that was currently making herself comfortable in the previously empty seat.

“Cheers,” Brenda tonelessly replied, not in the least bit sincere in her more than forced reply.   
She briefly tensed at the fleeting thought that her late mother would have been appalled at her distinct lack of southern hospitality or charm in such a social setting - but she was used to disappointing those she loved ... it was almost becoming habitual.

In her private life there was nothing she hated more than being put on the spot.   
Socially she was shy and awkward.

To the outside world she hid it well behind the facade of her Southern upbringing, but only those who truly knew her knew how uncomfortable and anxious she could get and why she would either over compensate with saccharine sweet southern charm, or she would appear cold and aloof.   
Unfortunately, this stranger had inadvertent pushed her buttons and would now have to deal with a distracted and annoyed Brenda Leigh, who, by all accounts looked like she would no longer be spending the flight home in the peaceful solitude she had anticipated.

Even though she could almost sense her mother tutting at her continued indifferent behaviour, she was still unable to do anything but immediately dismiss the woman, turning her attention back to her cell phone that she was turning over and over again in her hand.

“Oh, bless you, you absolute angel!!   
I don’t mind if I do!” she heard the other woman gratefully proclaim, as she took the offered glass of complimentary bubbles from the ever helpful flight attendant.

Brenda internally cringed, wondering if taking an ambien this early would be frowned upon – especially as they hadn’t even taken off yet!   
But she felt in no mood to have to deal with nosy, chatty .... and well, ..... distractingly attractive travelling companions, when all she really wanted was to see and speak to the one person who occupied her every thought. 

Sharon.

It was only the tinkling of glasses that broke her reflection, as she realised that the stranger had leaned over and boldly tapped her own glass lightly against hers, once more deliberately trying to engage with her.

“Why me?” Brenda thought to herself, as she forced herself to not lose her already fractured temper at the audacity of the woman sitting next to her.   
She tried to covertly scan the rest of the business class cabin to see if there was anywhere she could sit that would allow her the solitude she currently needed, but she was disappointed to realise that the section was now mostly full.

“Hmmm, that’s good!” came the lilting voice to her right, and Brenda couldn’t help but glance her way.

Once she realised she had Brenda’s begrudging but full attention, she then dramatically sighed, in almost carnal pleasure, as the cold and bubbly liquid once more passed her full, deep red, pouty lips – obviously hoping to elicit a more positive response from Brenda with her blatant flirting.

Unfortunately for this complete stranger, there was only one woman in Brenda’s life who could manipulate and control her thoughts, feelings and actions – and SHE was most definitely NOT it. 

Brenda stayed silent, simply continuing to slowly sip her champagne and browse through the latest text messages on her cell phone.   
She had no interest in engaging in further conversation because she knew where it would end up – probably with her head buried between the brunette’s legs, somewhere between here and the cramped airplane toilets.

The fact that she still winced slightly before she was able to fully cross her legs only reinforced her resolve to not actively engage with the woman beside her.  
Her body needed time to heal, especially as she was now contemplating turning over a ‘new leaf’ and leaving the self destructive behaviour and the unhealthy random ‘hook-ups' behind her ...... for good this time. 

The ‘old' Brenda would already be reciprocating, if she hadn’t already initiated the conversation herself.   
She would have been flirting outrageously, maybe coyly biting her lip as she looked up through her long doe like eyelashes, utilising every weapon in her ‘seduction arsenal’ – including her perfected ‘innocent, but vixen' patented look.....and she knew herself well enough to know that she would have already been plotting out how to seduce and have sex with the woman who had made it abundantly clear that she liked what she was seeing.

“I’m Chloe,” the lady offered, extending her manicured hand, trying again to draw Brenda back into the woefully clearly one-sided conversation.

“Brenda" she replied, somewhat tersely and clearly mightily disinterested, before resuming scrolling through her messages.   
She was getting progressively more and more annoyed at her current situation. 

“Mmm,hmmm,” the other woman sighed in appreciation, taking another long sip of her cool and bubbly beverage. 

“Well, Brenda,” she declared, “I don’t know about you, but I certainly needed that after the time I’ve recently had!”

When no response was forthcoming, instead of deterring her, she continued to try and engage Brenda in small talk as the plane slowly taxied its way to the runway.   
Brenda found herself thankful that the roar of the engines for take off made talking momentarily impossible.  
But it was over all too quickly.

As Brenda glanced her way, Chloe winked outrageously at her, before saying; “Seeing as how they don’t offer free sex on these flights, I guess I’ll just have to take advantage of the free champagne to enjoy and relax myself .... wouldn’t you care to join me? .... or maybe just in another?” making it clear that it wasn’t just the champagne that was currently on offer. 

Brenda internally smirked at the blatant innuendo, and Chloe expectantly raised her eyebrows.   
She then innocently motioned to Brenda's half-filled glass, “well, how about we just get you a refill for now, huh? .....the rest .... hmmm, let’s see ...” - the flight attendant immediately responded to Chloe’s wave and began to generously refill the brunettes glass. 

The ambiguity of the offer was not lost on Brenda. Who, when on the prowl for a latest conquest herself would often use similar techniques to draw a person in order to assess their level of interest in what could follow. 

The irony of allowing another person to use the method back at her was not lost on her, and she raised a small smirk for the stranger before shaking her head in the negative, deciding not to make it easy for the charming stranger.

“No, I have plans when I get home, but, thanks for offering....” she replied, making more of an effort to use a friendlier tone, despite her clear knock back.

Chloe spoke again, before sipping her champagne.

“All the more for me then....... because I do seem to have a voracious appetite for the ‘finer’ things in life.”

She turned to Brenda, as if judging just how far the other woman would let her go.   
And seeing no resistance to her forward approach, she continued making it clear what she was wanting.

“I’m not offering forever .... in case you were .... wondering,” she coyly whispered, reaching out to trace her fingertip along Brenda’s skirt clad thigh.

“You have someone waiting on you?” she continued, moving her hand back to her own lap and “accidently" causing her dress to ride further up her bare, smooth legs.

When she got no verbal response, she just continued talking, crossing her legs and angling them in Brenda’s general direction.

“Well, up until last night I too had someone waiting ..... until I found out she’d been cheating on me for at least the past year ....with.... and get this,” she wiggled her well groomed eyebrows, and leaned in slightly, in an attempt to elicit a response from Brenda, before continuing – “it was with her assistant!   
Nothing like a good cliché!" she laughed lightly but derisively at her own predicament. 

But it hadn’t fooled Brenda in the slightest.   
Not many people could. 

The woman was obviously either a very good actress, who was trying her luck and just wanted a no strings attached tryst, or she was indeed looking for a little revenge sex to ease her wounded pride.

And ordinarily Brenda would have been all over that.   
No strings attached sex was her forte, and this was her favourite kind, with her preferred gender in a sexual partner - a woman.

However, she merely raised her eyebrows and allowed a wry smile to flit across her face, acknowledging the other woman’s obviously shitty predicament, but not indicating her level of interest in the slightest.

As soon as the plane had reached its cruising altitude and electronic equipment was allowed back in use Brenda all but snatched up her cell phone, needing the wholesome connection of Sharon in order to keep her from reverting back to old patterns so soon after turning her back on them. 

Her fingers sped over the screen of her cell phone.

(Private message - Sharon)

Brenda: ‘Hey, sorry I missed your calls/messages   
yesterday - crazy busy day 🤯.  
Just taken off and have THE most annoying   
person sitting next to me.   
Help! 

Brenda: You may need to send reinforcements!!   
You’re my only hope ..... well, that and the   
free champagne 🍾🥂. 

Brenda: But I think they may start cutting me off   
soon! 🤪’

She played with the cell phone whilst waiting impatiently for Sharon’s response.   
Briefly wondering if she would get one at all after ignoring her multiple messages the day before.

But her heart leapt as she could see the little speech bubble indicating that Sharon was already replying.

(Private message - Brenda)

Sharon: “Don’t worry Bren, I understand. 😘  
came the response, 

Sharon: “But you’re usually SO good at making   
friends! 😉”

If ONLY you knew how good! Brenda thought miserably, immediately ashamed of her most recent ‘friend making' – if you could call painful, unfulfilling and a destructive one night stand .... with a broken condom to boot, as ‘making' friends....

(Private message - Brenda)

Sharon: “Maybe this will cheer you up.....?”

Brenda’s breath caught in her throat as she waited .... and waited ....–for what looked like a picture message to download.

“Someone important?” Chloe enquired beside her, tilting her head in her direction and sweeping her soft, fragrant hair behind her delicate ear.

An unexpected burst of anger flashed through Brenda at the continued unwanted interruptions, and she couldn’t help but deliberately angle her phone away from the gaze of the inquisitive woman.   
She didn’t want to share her private life with a stranger, especially when it involved Sharon. 

“I’m sorry – it’s none of my business.”   
Chloe’s apology sounded sincere, but it did little to deflect the brief look of frustration that flickered across Brenda’s features. Chloe had clearly picked up on it and sat fully back in her seat in an attempt to give Brenda some privacy. 

Although she didn’t verbally acknowledge her apology, Brenda did spare a quick glance at the newly exposed expanse of skin of the woman’s thighs - briefly wondering how far the other woman was willing to go in her little act of seduction.   
But the thought was fleeting.   
Because, at the beep of her cell phone her attention focused once more upon the picture message that was slowly taking its time downloading.

Brenda felt like a nervous teenager. 

It was a feeling that she thought was now long behind her, but the butterflies in her stomach were always present around Sharon. 

As a consequence, her whole posture and demeanour changed.   
Her breathing became rapid and shallow, her foot began to bounce in anticipation and she lightly bit at the skin surrounding her nails as she waited impatiently for the picture that was so slow in taking its time to come through on her small screen. 

When it finally unscrambled, she was more than a little surprised (and admittedly a little disappointed) to see that it was an ‘innocent selfie’ of Sharon.   
She quickly berated herself for expecting anything else – Sharon was above that, she was classy, she was a lady – in every sense of the word.

Her attention quickly reverted back to the picture. 

Sure, it was a little out of focus, and very much at an odd angle, but it was clear that Sharon was holding a small bunch of self chosen flowers, as well as a glittery homemade ‘welcome home’ sign.

And whilst that in itself was enough to make her heart clench in joy, at the time and effort Sharon had gone to, it was the radiant smile on Sharon’s face that actually made Brenda’s heart skip a beat.....

And she was mesmerised.

She was always mesmerised.

By Sharon.

She traced the image on the screen multiple times, first with just her eyes and then tenderly with her fingertips.

She was entranced by the auburn hair, that she knew smelt like wild flowers on a summer’s day.   
Those vibrant green orbs that radiated each emotion so vividly when their gaze turned her way.   
That alabaster skin, skin that that was deceptively smooth and soft to the touch and those lips, those slim, pink and velvet like lips that she had only ever felt against her cheek, but that she had often imagined pressed firmly against her own.

It took a few moments for any other sensation to break through her daydream, but she could eventually ‘feel’ Chloe watching her from the corner of her eye. 

She fought desperately to control her emotions, but for once, her training couldn’t withhold the entranced and loving smile that formed on her face at the image of the woman she ... loved...

..... it felt liberating, that just for once she didn’t actually HAVE to hide her true feelings for the woman that she was now so openly able to stare at ...... and it felt somewhat...... liberating ..... and natural.

Brenda responded to the message immediately.

(Private message - Sharon)

Brenda: “Awww ☺️, they’re so beautiful Sharon” 

(as are you – she wanted to add, but refrained)

Brenda: “who knew you were so talented in the   
crafting department 😉, must be quiet   
day for crime in LA!   
Unless you arrested Martha Stewart! .....   
but seriously, you really didn’t have to   
do that ..... not for me.”

For 5 torturous minutes Brenda waited for a response  
But, instead of a written response her cell phone ‘pinged’ with an alert for a ‘voice clip’.   
She held the phone up to her ear, anticipation flowing through her veins as she listened intently to the voice that haunted even her dreams.

“I thought that this would be much easier than typing out what I wanted to say,” came Sharon’s dulcet tones through the phone, “..... though now .... I’m not so sure .....”

She heard the hesitancy in Sharon’s tone and immediately her anxiety level spiked – in another time and another place it could almost have been the start of a ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech.

“I don’t know how to start ...... I wasn’t expecting it to be .... this.... well.... THIS hard! 

I know ....., well, I HAVE, I’ve been a ..... well, I’ve been a really shitty friend recently.   
And I’m sorry Bren ..... I’m really ..... just .. really sorry. 

I feel like we’ve barely seen each other in the last ... what?   
6 months or so?   
We used to be, close .... REALLY close ..... friends.”

Sharon paused, taking a deep breath.

“And now, it’s like, well, it feels like we don’t even know each other anymore!  
Up until this latest work trip of yours we’ve barely talked, or texted .... it feels like we’ve drifted apart .....

.... since ..... well, since Talia, it seems. ...... and I don’t know why. 

Why Bren? 

How have we got to this? 

Am I..... imagining it? 

I, I, .... I don’t think I am .....

It seems deliberate, at least from your side.

And god, well .... I miss you Bren, ...... I miss ..... us.”

The regret and sadness conveyed in Sharon’s tone at both their emotional and physical distance was evident, and it made Brenda feel all the more guilty for all the times that she had avoided or cancelled on the other woman.   
Because it was a period of deliberate absence, as Sharon had so clearly identified.

She continued listening, now finding herself torn between not wanting to hear anymore, but somehow needing to.

“I really do miss you.   
I miss seeing you ...... I miss speaking to you Bren.

.... and I guess, that’s why I’ve been so persistent in wanting to come and collect you from the airport.

..... because I knew that it would be the one time and place that you wouldn’t be able to cancel on me, well, at least not with some ‘random’ ..... and ‘highly questionable' excuse. ........ Because barring the plane not taking off from Canada, you WOULD actually be there .... this time.”

‘BUSTED’ was the word that immediately popped in to Brenda’s head. 

She had honestly thought that Sharon was oblivious to her constantly coming up with multiple excuses for never being available to meet with her, and especially her new partner – but she was obviously more transparent than she had thought....

The message continued -

“I mean, ...... I guess ...... maybe you’ve been busy, or working, or ...... oh, I don’t know Brenda,” Sharon sighed in exasperation and Brenda could picture her shrugging her shoulders in exhausted defeat at her unexplained antics.

“Is it me? ....   
Is it something I’ve done?  
You can tell me .... I... won’t be ... mad.”

Her tone changed slightly now, and a hint of anger tinged the words.

“I thought you were fine with my ..... ‘lifestyle' ..... but maybe I was wrong?  
I mean, we NEVER talk about ‘it’ or my ..... ‘partners' .....  
And YOU never .... ask.

Does it bother you that I’m a .... lesbian?

I mean, it’s not like I try to rub it in your face or anything. Yes, there’s been times I’ve ‘joked' about sexual things.... but I never thought that you found it offensive. 

Did you? 

I guess maybe you did....

And I just feel like there’s a wall between us now........ and ...... I don’t know why, or how, it got there all of a sudden. ....... and I don’t know how to knock it down .... not by myself.   
I’m not even sure that YOU want me to.”

Brenda nibbled at the skin around her thumb nail, a habit that had always indicated the escalation of her anxiety.

“Please .... please, just ...... talk to me!” Sharon exclaimed.

The cool recycled air of the cabin wasn’t enough to reduce the heat of shame that reddened her cheeks. Questions raced through her brain:

\- How could Sharon think that she was homophobic?

\- Why couldn’t Sharon see how much she needed her?

\- Why was she doubting their friendship?

As she remained lost in her thoughts, her phone still clasped to her now sweating ear, she felt a soft hand land on her arm and she jumped, letting out a little ‘yelp' at the unexpected touch.

She watched as Chloe immediately held her hands up in an apology, even mouthing a quiet ‘sorry', whilst then silently pointing at the stewardess who was waiting patiently with the drinks trolley.

Brenda sighed again - she knew that drinking was NOT her friend – it just enabled her - and she began to shake her head to indicate that she did not want another drink ..... just as her divided attention was drawn back to the voice clip that was still playing against her ear.

In the background there was now the unmistakable sound of a door opening and then being slammed, closely followed by a muffled voice slowly coming closer into clarity as Sharon continued to talk to her in the foreground. 

“I want to know what’s wrong.  
Especially what’s wrong between us Bren.   
You’re my .....,” and Sharon paused here, taking a deep breath before continuing,

“...... best friend........ You’re my .... everyth......."

And then, interrupting Sharon’s monologue, Brenda heard the voice of the one person that she had avoided more than Sharon herself.

Talia.

Brenda immediately bristled, both physically and emotionally.   
She did not want to have anything to do with that ‘other woman’ – and that included not even wanting to hear her nasal and pinched voice down a phone line. 

The fact that said woman then proceeded to speak to Sharon in an abrasive and disrespectful manner only further fuelled the fire of her hatred for her.

“Why aren’t you getting ready?” she heard the other woman practically spit out at Sharon, not even giving her time to respond before she continued berating her.

“We’re supposed to be meeting Sondra at 8pm and you certainly can’t show me up by going dressed as you are!   
Even my mother dresses better than you and she’s younger than you too!  
I swear, you do it on purpose just to annoy me!”

She didn’t even seem to wait for a reply before further continuing her rant.

“I have much better things to do than be your personal assistant simply because you don’t appear to have the consideration or capability to meet my needs or expectations.   
Do I really mean that little to you Sharon?   
Does our relationship really mean that little to you, that you would deliberately try to embarrass me in front of a VERY close, VERY PERSONAL friend of mine?   
Huh? Huh? Well?”

Brenda felt like a voyeur, but she couldn’t stop listening now if her life depended on it.

“Wh.... what?” She heard Sharon finally reply in confusion, “You never ..... mentioned it before ........ I, I’m sorry .... I didn’t mean to let you down..... of course, I love ....”, just before the voice clip ended.

Without even giving it a second thought, Brenda dropped the now silent cell phone into her lap.   
Her decision had been made.

She turned her head and deliberately lent across Chloe, making sure that her chest was clearly on display for the other woman to see.   
She then rested her palm on the woman’s thigh, as if for balance, before giving the stewardess her most gracious smile.

“I'd like a gin and tonic please.   
A real, REAL big one!” she winked, lightly squeezing Chloe’s warm thigh, before turning to her and coyly asking; “care to join me ...... or have you changed your mind about what you want now? - ....... because, what was it you said? I’m not offering forever .... in case you were .... wondering,” using the woman’s own words back at her from earlier, her tone equally as sultry.

She watched as Chloe’s eyes dilated at her now brazen behaviour, and for a second it seemed like the other woman intended to say something.  
For a brief moment Brenda thought that her invitation would be declined - however, Chloe simply nodded, sensually nibbling her lower lip before finally responding; “hmmm, sounds good to me", placing her delicate hand on top of the one that Brenda still had on her naked thigh and using it to push it slightly higher up, “I think I’ll have the same,” she all but purred.

As they waited patiently for their drinks, Brenda’s hand remained caressing the other woman’s thigh.   
Her fingertips danced dangerously close to feeling the heat emanating from her core that was only centimetres away.   
It felt illicit.   
But it also turned her on.   
The fact that Chloe WANTED her, which was more than Sharon ever would, made her blood sing.

She could feel a frisson of desire begin to slowly uncoil in her stomach, and she shivered indiscreetly in anticipation of what would unfurl next in their little charade.

But, as her phone ‘pinged' again she was easily distracted from her plan B, which was to sleep with woman sitting next to her.  
Sure, she felt an attraction to the beautiful woman, but her desire was not so overwhelming that it consumed her or all her conscious thoughts.   
It felt more like a light wave, gently lapping the shore, rather than the tsunami of desire she felt whenever she thought about, or was in close proximity to Sharon.

That was why she couldn’t help but notice her cell phone quietly ringing and then further ‘pinging' with incoming messages when she continued to deliberately ignore it.   
It was only when she felt Chloe’s slim hand move to gracefully reach for the intrusive cell phone, her fingers deliberately caressing the material of Brenda’s skirt in her lap as she picked it up, that she realised how distracted she had been.

Chloe was certainly not shy. 

She turned the cell phone over and read the name ‘Sharon’ as it flashed repeatedly on the screen – only when it was silent did the screen then indicate the several missed calls and messages from the woman in question, as well as a new one from a group chat that was titled ‘3 lesbians & a lady'.

“Do you need to get this?” Chloe queried, innocently holding the phone out for Brenda to take, and wondering if this ‘Sharon' was one of the 3 lesbians, or the lady.

It felt almost like a test.  
A test of Brenda’s commitment to going through with ‘whatever’ this sexual little charade turned out to be. And Brenda made it her lifes mission to NEVER fail.

“Well, I’d much rather spend my time talking to you,” Brenda flirted back, making her choice clear as she deliberately made sure that their fingers touched whilst taking the phone and immediately ending the call without even once glancing at it.

If Brenda was expecting a more overt response to her latest ‘move' in their little game, then she was sorely disappointed.  
A non-committal hum left the other woman’s mouth, but she made no further comment, not even when the phone immediately started ringing and pinging with calls and messages once more.

“Take the damn hint!” Brenda hissed in exasperation, ending the call once more and then quickly turning the cell phone to vibrate only. 

She felt torn – ignoring Sharon always felt like she was tearing a part of her soul away.   
But she felt angry, defiant, betrayed and ..... desperate ..... desperate to feel something other than those emotions that always led her back to the conclusion that Sharon WAS NEVER and WOULD NEVER be hers.

She glanced at the latest WhatsApp message from their group chat:

(Group Chat - 3 Lesbians & a lady)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Good evening.   
This is your Head of inflight   
entertainment speaking 😘👍✈  
We hope you are enjoying your   
flight so far.   
The cruising altitude is f**king high   
and our staff are currently breaking   
open more bubbly as I speak!! 

Sharon: Is the champagne free?   
Asking for a friend! 🍾🥂

Mrs H2B: @hotstuffhobbs won’t even share   
her cookies!   
So good luck expecting free booze! 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Hey! 😡  
There’s still time to call off the   
wedding you know! 😉💍   
And I let you 'share' in my orgasms   
earlier .... 🤤🍆💦☝️👅

Sharon: 😱🙉   
Too much info ladies!!  
@Brenda, back me up here!!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: No such thing as too much info!!   
You might learn a thing or 5!! 😉👅  
@Brenda – come join the lesbian   
world of multiple orgasms!!  
@Sharon – feel free to fill us in on   
your rampant sexlife. We’re all 👂’s!!  
#cometothedarkside  
#3lesbians&amaybe

(Private message – Hot Stuff Hobbs)

Sharon: Come to the dark side?   
3 lesbians & a maybe? Jesus!   
Come join the lesbian world?   
My rampant sexlife? 

Sharon: You need to stop!  
None of the above is accurate –   
especially the last two!   
What on earth must Brenda be   
thinking???? 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Stop what?   
Teasing you? Nope!   
It’s too much fun!!

Sharon: And, she’s straight!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: You seriously think Brenda isn’t   
used to this by now?!   
Seems like you’re the one with the   
problem ...... what does her being   
straight have to do with anything?

(Group Chat – 3 Lesbians & a maybe)

Mrs H2B: I can confirm the multiple orgasms   
👍💦😍

Hot Stuff Hobbs: We can but live in hope that Brenda   
sees the light.   
And I have changed the group name   
just in case!! 😘

(Private message – Hot Stuff Hobbs)

Sharon: You just don’t know when to stop!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: That’s what she said!!😂

Hot Stuff Hobbs: You need to relax!   
Brenda knows it’s a joke!   
I’m sure she’s getting more than   
enough sex from her HETERO   
lovers....

Sharon: Wait? What?!   
Brenda doesn’t date.

Hot Stuff Hobbs: 😂😂 omg, you're too cute!!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: You SERIOUSLY think she’s not   
getting her rocks off on a regular   
basis?!?!   
She is sex on legs!   
She’s probably having MORE sex   
than ALL of us COMBINED!!

Sharon: We’re BEST friends – she would   
have told me

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Oh! You are just so precious! .....   
......... and deluded!  
Have you asked her? 

Sharon: ..... no ....  
....... but she would have told me.   
That’s what BEST friends do.

Hot Stuff Hobbs: When was the last time you   
REALLY talked? Months?   
Do you tell her about your sex life?

Sharon: Sometimes ..... ok, rarely..... never!  
She’s never ... been interested or   
.... asked.   
And she said she didn’t have time   
to date or have a relationship.

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Since when does sex = relationship?

Sharon: You think she’s having sex? ....   
Regularly???

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Why does it matter if she is?  
Good for her!   
Aren’t you?

When she finally glanced back up, she noticed Chloe now patiently holding both of their drinks.   
She quickly reached to take her own, needing the liquid courage if she was to continue with this latest act of deliberate self-harm. 

She swallowed her first sip quickly, licking her dry lips before bringing the glass immediately back to them and then taking another much larger sip this time.   
Her eyes briefly closed, and she hummed in pleasure, as the gin made her taste buds tingle and caused a slight blush to rise in her cheeks.

“That must be some drink you have there ...... I’m almost jealous!   
Though perhaps I can hear more of those delicious moans from you later, because, I have to say, I’m so very glad you changed your mind,” Chloe whispered, as her knuckles softly traced Brenda’s jawline – a touch that Brenda had to initially fight not to instinctively flinch away from.

To break the moment, as well as to help reinforce her decision to go through with ‘this', she took another, then another large gulp of her drink - each drop acting as liquid courage, eroding her doubts and enabling her to become the vixen that this woman obviously expected her to be. 

She raised her perfectly arched eyebrow and lent into the touch now, nuzzling the hand that was still caressing her jaw, before whispering back; “hmmm, I have no doubt that you will – in fact, I’d be VERY disappointed if you didn’t make me moan!”

Chloe smiled sultrily, her eyes never leaving Brenda’s as she slowly lent forward, not seeking permission, as brushed her lips lightly against hers.   
Almost at once she paused, as if looking for encouragement...... or at least for a sign of reciprocation.

Their kiss was brief, but intense.   
Mouth found mouth, heads tilted and tongues touched momentarily, before propriety due to their physical location came back to the forefront of their minds.

As certain as she was that Chloe was not thinking about her during that kiss, she wondered if the other woman had even given a second thought as to who she too was imagining in her place.

Leaning back into her seat Brenda remained emotionally detached for the situation at hand.

She chose to watch the other woman carefully, almost like she was observing a ‘mark’ on a stake out.   
Chloe seemed at ease with their little ‘make out' session, casually using her compact mirror to aid her in wiping the smudged lipstick from her own bottom lip before gently repeating the same courtesy for a surprised Brenda.  
That particular move Brenda was not expecting.  
And she prided herself on knowing things before they happened.

To alleviate her bout of uncomfortableness, she glanced at her phone again.   
The messages from Sharon were now piling up.

(Private message - Brenda:)

Sharon: Why aren’t you answering my calls?

Sharon: Bren? 

Sharon: Look, I’m so sorry but I can’t be there   
to pick you up tonight after all ☹ 💔

Sharon: Are you ok?

Sharon: Please reply.  
I’ve snuck to the toilet so many times   
now to message and call you that it   
must look like I’ve got bowel issues!!

Sharon: Ignore Andrea – you know what she’s like.   
I’ve told her to back off and stop with all   
her lesbian comments.

  
And then there were the ones from Andrea.

(Private message- Brenda)

Hot stuff Hobbs: Wtf is going on?   
Why aren’t you replying?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Sharon has called me multiple   
times and messaged me even   
more – what’s happened? 

Hot stuff Hobbs: Message Sharon back! NOW!

Hot stuff Hobbs: Seriously Brenda, wtf!   
I’m spending my one evening   
off playing peacemaker   
between 2 grown ass women   
instead of drinking wine and   
having more orgasms with my   
bride 2 be.

Hot stuff Hobbs: You’re seriously sulking   
because she’s not able to pick   
you up? 

Before she could help herself Brenda found herself asking;   
"What do you say we find ourselves somewhere more ..... private? If you want to, of course......” and then she shrugged nonchalantly, as if the response was of no real importance to her. 

Because, for all intents and purposes, it really wasn’t ...... at least not to Brenda.

Chloe’s hand reached forward once more, curling it around Brenda’s neck and then drawing her into another much more intense kiss. 

Brenda was happy to let her take the lead. 

Chloe’s hands tilted Brenda’s head, pulling her impossibly closer, as she nibbled on her bottom lip, encouraging her to open her mouth so that their tongues could tangle yet again.   
And Brenda quickly acquiesced.

As the kiss continued, Brenda’s hands remained still, but she followed Chloe’s silent demands, arching into the palm that eventually found its way to her breast. She couldn’t help but pull her mouth away, gasping for breath as the hand continued to discreetly massage her breast, her nipple now becoming impossibly hard. Chloe’s other hand slowly made its way up Brenda’s thigh, inching confidently under the hem of her skirt. 

Lips found lips again as Chloe’s fingers rose higher still, caressing the sensitive skin of Brenda’s inner thighs, and now just a few inches from her lace covered centre.   
The heat and moisture emanating from it was clearly noticeable and signalled her wanton response to the advances of the other woman.  
She watched through lust filled eyes as Chloe’s own eyes drifted to her lap, captivated by her hips that had started to undulate in the same rhythm as their tongues.

Brenda almost blushed at her own publically lewd behaviour, but the increase of moisture building between her legs at the very idea of being ‘caught' distracted her back into instigating another much more frenzied kiss.   
Lips, tongue and teeth clashing and demanding. Nipping, biting, sucking.

It was Chloe who finally pulled away breathless and lightly panting.   
Her eyes were dilated with unbridled arousal, but it quickly became clear that she actually stopped due to her distraction at the continued vibrations of Brenda’s cell phone.

“I know why I’m doing this,” Chloe panted quietly through kiss swollen lips, “but why are you?” 

As she finished her question, she removed her hands from Brenda’s body, missing it’s touch almost immediately, as she handed the cell phone back to her once again. 

It was as if she could sense that more was behind Brenda’s swift change of heart than just a rampant libido and the chance of easy sex.

Brenda notably paused, needing a moment to clear her head from its earlier focus on the growing throbbing between her legs.   
As she realised what she was being given her head dropped forward in defeat, and she reluctantly took it from Chloe’s outstretched palm – handling it as if it were a live grenade.

The cell screen was lit up again.

(Group chat – 3 lesbians & a maybe)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: As well as providing scintillating   
conversation and a varied   
entertainment programme (adult   
channels are also available for a   
small fee!!) we also provide a car   
service from the airport, for our   
more exclusive clientele 🚙👸🏼

Sharon: Wow! That’s some service you   
provide! 😉😍

Sharon: Do you provide a snack service   
too? Airplane food leaves a lot to   
be desired!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: For a small fee 💋 we can provide   
a variety of services!!! 👅💦

Mrs H2B: Hey!! That 👅 belongs to me!! 

Sharon: Try not to scare @Brenda!!

“Well?” Chloe pushed, her curiosity obviously now more than peaked thanks to Brenda’s continued ‘hot and cold’ behaviour. 

“Do you know why you’re doing this?”

Brenda raised her head, forcing herself to meet the other woman’s steady gaze.

“Because I can” she replied, her tone surprisingly neutral given that her stomach had simultaneously dropped at the blasé way in which she had explained away yet another act of self-destruction. 

Only her subtle change in body language gave her away. 

Instead of maintaining the eye contact, her gaze fell once more to the phone that she still tightly clutched in her now clammy palm, clearly torn between wanting to read and listen to every single message Sharon had sent, and, equally wanting to throw the cell phone out of the closest airlock.

Curiosity won.

(Private message - Brenda)

Hot stuff Hobbs: I swear, if you don’t reply soon,   
I’m going to make you wear   
the ugliest bridesmaid dress I   
can find!

Brenda: Turbulence – messages not   
coming thru

Hot stuff Hobbs: Don’t give me that bullshit!   
So, you can reply to me but   
not the group? Or Sharon?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I’m not a expert, but I’m pretty   
sure that’s not how turbulence   
works .... unless it’s   
'homophobic turbulence' and   
doesn’t like groups of lesbians!  
Ps. For such a smart woman   
you can be incredibly dense at   
times!!! – we can also see that   
you’ve read our group   
messages because of the   
double tick ✔✔🤦🏻♀️

Chloe watched Brenda carefully as she seemed engrossed in her messages, taking no offence at her blunt response and choosing not to comment on it. Instead she simply continued to sip her drink, seeming to accept Brenda’s oversimplified and somewhat nonchalant response at face value.

(Private message - Hot stuff Hobbs)

Brenda: I don’t need another mother!   
Enjoy your evening & let me enjoy   
mine.

Hot Stuff Hobbs: And what about Sharon?

Brenda: What about her?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Jesus, Brenda!   
She’s supposed to be your friend!

Brenda: She has her priorities & I have mine

Hot Stuff Hobbs: So, what?   
You’re going to sleep your way   
through pretending you’re not hurt   
that she put her girlfriend before   
you? What did you expect?   
It’s her partner for fucksake!   
She apologised. Get over it!

Chloe watched Brenda’s expressions as she replied to the messages on her cell and thought about the almost offhand response that she had gotten in response to her earlier question about Brenda’s motivation for agreeing to whatever they were going to do.

Sure, whilst it wasn’t a desire filled claim of; “you drive me crazy with the way I want you!” or; “I want to fuck you senseless!” or even, “you made me wet just touching my skin and I can’t wait to find out what you feel like inside of me.” - neither was it a flat-out rejection either. 

And at the end of the day ..... sex was just .... sex.

Chloe knew that her own motivation was an all-consuming pain at being cheated on by a person who had claimed to love her and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.   
But in all honesty, it was also mixed with a just dash of revenge, more than a hint of anger and a definite flash of unexpected desire for the beautiful woman sitting beside her.

But for the life of her, she just couldn’t figure out why Brenda was doing this. 

Why on earth was an unbelievably beautiful, obviously accomplished and well-educated, woman willing to hook up with a complete stranger for sex on a plane?

As she pondered this further she watched the other woman angrily responding to more messages.

(Group chat – 3 Lesbians & a maybe)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Ok, Ms Johnson – what time   
shall I tell our driver to expect you?

Sharon: I made a booking at La Cocina at   
8.45, so dinner will be on me   
tonight ladies x

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Ohhh! “On” you? 🤤   
Sounds good to me!!😉😜💦

Mrs H2B: ...... someone wants to stay single ..... 😡

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Baby, you know you’re the only   
smorgasbord for me!!   
But, maybe @Brenda will take   
@Sharon up on her “tasty" offer!!   
😏😛👭💏💋👅💦🎉🔛🔝

(Private message- Hot Stuff Hobbs)

Sharon: WHAT THE HELL ANDREA!!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: ohhh!! CAPSLOCK- it MUST be   
serious!! 😂

Sharon: 🤦🏻♀️ Really? 

Sharon: You think that was appropriate?   
Saying that to her?   
She’s straight! 

Sharon: Seriously?!?!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: ..... 🤔 I think you MIGHT be   
protesting just a bit TOO much .....   
something you want to share with   
us fellow lesbians? #straightcrush

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Huh? Huh? Huh?

Sharon: You’re NOT funny 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I think we BOTH know that I am,   
in fact, hilarious! 😂👍

Sharon: She’s probably freaking out right   
now thinking that I’m going to hit   
on her!   
What the hell Andrea!   
YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!

(Group Chat – 3 Lesbians & a maybe)

Brenda: No car service needed

Sharon: Free car service @Brenda and   
dinner thrown it too! 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I’ll even wear a chauffeurs cap.....   
if I can find where @MrsH2B threw   
it after the last time we role   
played!! Lol!

Mrs H2B: Hey! Stop sharing our secrets!   
No more hot monkey car sex for you!

Sharon: Good Lord! Some people have all the   
luck!! #jealous   
Please don’t give @Brenda   
nightmares on the journey home from   
airport, she’s an innocent bystander   
in these lesbian innuendos!

Brenda: I don’t need or want picking up

Sharon: @HotStuffHobbs hmm 🤔 I think   
@Brenda is scared of your driving! Lol!   
Remember to put your seatbelt on @Brenda!

Mrs H2B: Hey, that’s my future wife you’re   
dissing ...... oh, wait ..... yeah, 3   
tickets so far this month . .. you’d   
be better off walking @Brenda haha!!

Mrs H2B: But a door to door free   
complimentary car service with me   
as safety officer will be fine @Brenda

Brenda: I have a ride....

(Private Message – Brenda)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Don’t be a bitch Brenda.   
She’s sorry and she’s trying.   
What more do you want?

Brenda: She is trying – very fucking trying!   
I don’t need this shit right now.   
I’ve had a crap week, I’m tired and I   
just want to go home and sleep.   
Is that so hard to understand?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: So why not just say that? 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: The second part obvs- not the 1st.   
Cause that’s just out of order.

(Private message – Hot Stuff Hobbs)

Sharon: What does she mean she doesn’t want   
picking up? And that she has ‘a ride?’

Sharon: Andrea?

Sharon: Shit! If I could get out of this meal I   
would .... it’s just not that easy....

Sharon: Do you still have that ‘friend’ - in the FBI?   
You know the one – he had a massive   
crush on you – think he could get me   
the name of who she’s sitting next to on   
the flight? Then I could get Tao to run a   
background check on him ..... unless,   
you think ... she erm... already has a   
boyfriend? A partner? I mean ... does   
she? .... do you know?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Are you being serious right now?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I’ve charged people for stalking   
with less evidence than this! 😉😂

Sharon: Not funny.

Hot Stuff Hobbs: It’s a little bit funny!! Come on!! 😏

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Wait?!?!.  
..... You ARE being serious!?!? 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Just wait.   
You owe me – and I’m talking   
Prada purse owe me, not glass of   
wine at O'Briens.

(Group Chat: - 3 Lesbians & a maybe)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: @Brenda – don’t play hard to get!   
I need to spend some time with   
my 2nd favourite bridesmaid and I   
need your help with a surprise for   
a certain someone 👰

Mrs H2B: 🥰😍😘 is it for me!?!?

Mrs H2B: It is right???? 👠🛍👑💎📿💍

Mrs H2B: Huh? Huh? Huh?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: @Brenda NEVER go for the high   
maintenance chicks!! They may   
be ‘freaky' 🎨🌈📸📹🕯🔐⛓   
between the sheets,   
but lordy it costs you!! 💲💲💲💵   
💵💵💰💰💰

Mrs H2B: D-I-V-O-R-C-E will cost you MORE ,   
my darling!! 💕💎🐶

(Private message – Sharon)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Happy?

Sharon: Thank you .... I think!  
Maybe minus all the lesbian   
innuendo would be good!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: But I AM a lesbian & I’m FULL of   
innuendo!!! 

Sharon: Do you think you could suss out   
... if she’s ‘with’ anyone...   
interested in anyone ..... or has met   
anyone on the plane?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I’m pretty sure it’s not a private jet   
– so she’s not travelling solo!   
If you’re that bothered, why don’t   
you just ask her - seeing as you’re   
best friends and all....

Sharon: We are friends. Why?   
Has she said otherwise? What did she say?   
Is she ok? Does she hate me?   
What can I do to make it better?   
Should I talk to her?   
Maybe I should just leave here and go collect her?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Would ‘Little miss high   
maintenance’ be ok with you   
‘ditching her super important   
dinner party' to go and collect the   
‘best friend’ she’s never met?

Sharon: I could pretend that work called me   
in?????..

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Leave everything to me.   
BUT, tomorrow you and me are   
having brunch and a SERIOUS chat!

Sharon: About what?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Hmmm 🤔, like telling her you’re   
in love with her? 

Sharon: HUH? What? Talia?   
We’re not quite there........

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Face it sweet cheeks, you 2 are   
NEVER going to ‘get there’ ❌   
Talia is not the forever type ......   
but BRENDA.... you know, the   
ONE, you are actually in love in   
with..... ❤

Sharon: I have absolutely NO idea what   
you’re talking about! 

Sharon: Of I course love Brenda!   
We’re best friends – it’s kind of a given!!   
And unless you’ve forgotten I AM in a   
committed relationship.... with another   
woman..... and mostly, Brenda is STRAIGHT!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: so you do love her then??? 💕   
💕💕💕

Sharon: Out of all of that, the only thing you   
pick up on (and deliberately out of   
context) is the love bit?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Well, that’s the most important   
piece! Cause basically you   
SHOULD be committed if you’re   
considering staying with Talia .....   
not to mention if you think SHE is   
actually 'committed'....  
And who’s to say Brenda’s straight?   
You ever asked her? NOPE!   
I didn’t think so!   
Maybe she swings both ways ......

Sharon: you really talk 💩 sometimes, you   
know that right?!?!

Hot Stuff Hobbs: 1) you still owe me   
2) you better have a better defence   
strategy than I talk shit!   
And  
3) we are having a serious chat at   
brunch (which you’re paying for!!)   
as to where your life is heading ....   
because I’m worried about you ....   
and for you xx

(Group chat – 3 lesbians & a maybe)

Mrs H2B: make sure my future wife brings me   
some take out back from La Cocina!! 🥘🌮

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Cheaper than a 💎 I guess, but   
we both know I wear the 👖in   
this relationship! 😀💪🧠

Mrs H2B: You might wear the 👖, but now   
you’re gonna be minus the strap-on🍆   
until you learn to behave!

Sharon: 🙈🙉

Brenda: As scintillating as this conversation is,   
my battery (on my cell !!) is about to die.   
So, to reiterate: I don’t need a lift, as someone   
pointed out, I am VERY good at ‘making   
friends’. I also don’t need a free meal – my   
‘new' friend and I have ‘other’s plans 🥂🛀🛌💥   
So, have a good night ladies ....because, I   
certainly will be .... 💦💦

(Private message- Hot Stuff Hobbs)

Sharon: She’s joking right?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: ..... 🤷🏼♀️❓

Sharon: She MUST be! .....   
That’s...not her style ..... 

Hot Stuff Hobbs: I think maybe YOU WISH that   
wasn’t her style...... 

(Group Chat – 3 lesbians & a maybe)

Mrs H2B: 🔥🌡🤠 sounds like @Brenda you   
have a hot night planned!!   
Why is it that I just get sat next to the   
weirdos on planes? ✈🥴

Hot Stuff Hobbs! Hey! I object!! 🗳🔨

Mrs H2B: You would! Cause generally YOU   
are THAT weirdo!! 😂😘

Sharon: Has law enforcement 👮🏼♀️⚖🔗   
really taught you so little about self-   
safety??? HE could be a serial killer   
🗡💉💊⚰

(Private chat – Sharon)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Serial killer?

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Seriously?

(Group Chat – 3 lesbians & a maybe)

Mrs H2B: OR, SHE could be sex on 🦵🦵😚  
Life is too short for “what ifs" 

Sharon: You mean, for example, like –   
“WHAT IF” HE IS A SERIAL KILLER?   
Then, yes, her LIFE would VERY short....

(Private chat – Brenda)

Sharon: Why are you doing this?

Sharon: Do you really hate me that much that   
you’d rather ‘hook up' with a stranger   
than accept a change in plans for who   
is picking you up??

Sharon: Bren!!

Sharon: Just fuxking talk to me!!

Sharon: Please, Bren...... please x

(Group Chat – 3 Lesbians & a maybe)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Anyhooooo, enough about   
imaginary hook ups, serial killers   
and @Brenda suddenly becoming a   
“lesbian"   
– the old ⚽️ and ⛓ (otherwise know as   
the 💝of my life) and myself will be   
waiting for you at the arrivals gate, where   
you will be greeted with 🤗 & 😘 before   
being whisked away to La Cocina, for a   
free meal on @Sharon – who has reliably   
informed me that there is no limit on the   
amount of appetizers I can have   
(#winning)– after which we will roll   
you home, tuck you in and 😘 you   
night night!

(Private chat – Brenda)

Hot Stuff Hobbs: Don’t even start!   
I’ve had Sharon on the phone in   
tears over your antics more today   
than in all the years I’ve known her. 

I WILL be there tonight as WILL you.   
I love you like a sister, but like my   
sister I will also smack you up side   
your head when you need it .... AND   
YOU NEED IT!

Luckily for Chloe, Brenda was too engrossed in responding to her messages to notice her inner turmoil, and it allowed her to continue to procrastinate over their current situation – that being why Brenda was ‘doing this’ 

..... which if she were really thinking logically would mean acknowledging that she was potentially talking herself out of her desire for this sexual revenge-based escapade.   
But she wasn’t quite connecting the dots – she just saw a conundrum, and wanted to solve it.

So, she found herself wondering if Brenda was just merely chasing the excitement that came from having spontaneous and no strings attached sex with a VERY willing yet random partner ..... 

But she quickly dismissed that generic and simple solution because the ‘reason' for Brenda’s fluctuating responses felt much deeper than that.   
Watching Brenda’s multitude of reactions to her messages seemed to confirm it too.  
But those assumptions, however correct they may be, did little to clarify the matter .... only seeming to further muddy the already murky waters.

So, was she hurting? 

Was she looking to forget someone?

Or was she looking to hurt someone as a result of her actions?

She wasn’t sure which she would prefer – the thought of another person hurting the way she currently was filled her with more concern than she expected it to.

She continued to covertly watch the blonde haired beauty, who was completely oblivious to the scrutiny she was under, as she read and every once in a while texted on her cell.   
Chloe was unable to see the what was being sent or the responses, but got the overriding feeling that all was not going well from the way Brenda’s fingers would almost ‘punch' at the screen when she finally did respond.

It was clear to Chloe that there was no ring on the other woman’s finger - and no tan line indicating one had been there recently either – so no significant other for her to feel guilty about.   
But she did see a spark of hurt flash through those caramel-coloured eyes each time the name ‘Sharon' flashed up on her cell phone.

There was a story there, she was certain of it, and there was a part of her that wanted to know .... a part of her that NEEDED to know .......  
....... a part that wanted to dig until she uncovered the truth ..... because then, maybe, just maybe SHE wouldn’t feel so guilty for taking what SHE wanted from the blonde-haired woman – something that another woman had also taken from her.

............... or perhaps she was just overthinking it all. 

Maybe some revenge sex was what they both needed. Or just sex come to that, reasons and ramifications be damned.  
– Because the way Brenda was currently behaving, it was clear that she most definitely had her own agenda going on.

So maybe, she didn’t need more information than that. 

They were both consenting adults after all, and sex was.... well ...... just a release, a basic need, a means to an end.   
You certainly didn’t need to love, or even fully KNOW someone to have sex with them .......   
........ it was just SO much better when it WAS meaningful and ...... driven by love.

As Chloe continued to ponder, second and even third guess their situation, she watched as Brenda covertly watched the screen of her cell phone lighting up.  
It seemed that instead of actively looking at them like before and then responding, Brenda seemed to find her half empty tumbler of gin the most interesting thing in the world, finishing off the strong beverage in less than 3 large gulps.

Chloe settled herself back in her seat before reaching for her own barely empty glass and handing it silently to Brenda and taking her empty one.

“Looks like you need this more than me,” she explained when Brenda quizzically looked her way.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked, handing the empty glass to the Stewardess who was passing and quietly requesting a refill.

Brenda shrugged, sipping the drink whilst rotating the cell phone in her other palm.   
It was like she didn’t want to deal with the machine, but she also couldn’t put it down – almost like taunting herself .... pushing herself to see how much she could take .... before she broke.   
Because she knew she would .... eventually.

“Ex-girlfriend?” Chloe questioned, thinking that it was a good a guess as any.

Brenda snorted derisively before continuing to drink, the glass quickly emptying already.

“Ok, no ex-girlfriend” – Chloe surmised, tapping her lip with her index finger.

“Hmmm, you’re not making this easy for me, you know that right?”

Brenda glanced up at her through her lashes, before bluntly responding; “I thought we were going to fuck, not have a heart to heart!” 

Being the one interrogated for a change was clearly NOT to her liking.

“Who’s to say they’re not mutually exclusive?” Chloe responded coyly, not biting in the least at Brenda’s change in tone, as she continued her questioning.

“You know why I’m doing this Brenda, I just thought I’d offer you the same courtesy..... a proverbial shoulder to cry on if you need it, because lord knows I’m not the one chugging down drinks as though I need to forget something in order to be half drunk to have sex with a stranger.”

She then merely raised her eyebrow as Brenda emptied the glass in one long swig before taking the fresh one that was meant for her from the stewardess.

“Did you want this?” Brenda asked as she took a large sip, not waiting for a response.

The sound of laughter from the other woman made Brenda’s forehead scrunch up in confusion, it was not a response she was expecting based on the turn their conversation had taken.

“Oh no,” came Chloe’s dulcet but lightly sarcastic tones, “your need is obviously MUCH greater than mine. Please, help yourself.... maybe it will help to loosen your lips!”

Brenda all but choked on her latest sip, the not so innocent comment making her eyes water and her hand came to come her mouth as she tried to breathe through it and not splutter everywhere.

“That wasn’t exactly how I meant it,” Chloe smirked as she apologised, quickly handing Brenda a napkin.

“Although...... I’m still not opposed to THAT, in ANY way .... if you still want to, of course!” she snorted, wiggling her eyebrows to try and lighten the mood between them.

Brenda chuckled out loud, briefly wondering how long it had been since she had last laughed so freely.  
She placed the now empty tumbler on her tray table and pushed it away, realising it was not helping her.

She rolled her head back, extending her neck to try and alleviate the knots and tension she permanently felt like she carried now. 

A soft intake of breath caught her attention and she tilted her head in Chloe’s direction, catching the lust filled gaze the other woman was sending her way.

She stayed still as Chloe slowly reached out and gently stroked the curve of her neck, watching as the other woman relished the softness beneath her fingertips and noticeably having to stop herself from trailing those fingers lower in search of more delicate skin.

“Who hurt you so much Brenda?” she heard her whisper, and Brenda couldn’t help the flutter of pleasure that she felt as she lent further into her touch.

“Who broke your heart, hmmm?”

Buzzzzzźzzzz, zzzzzzz, zzzzzz – came the intrusive sound of Brenda’s cell phone again, breaking the spell that had woven around them.

She felt a sadness as Brenda pulled back from her touch, her eyes now dull and hollow.   
She couldn’t help but bite her lip in frustration at the unwanted and untimely interruption.

“They sure are persistent.   
Are you going to answer it?” she enquired, more than a bit curious as to why the other woman wouldn’t so much as look at her phone, let alone send a text asking to be left alone.   
Or, using her own personal preference of ‘blocking' someone – like she had done to her ex, the minute she had walked out after seeing her fucking some one else.

She took Brenda’s cell phone from her hand, swiping open the screen.

“I mean.... I could do it for you, if that would help?”

“Can you make me someone else?” Brenda replied, before realising what she had inadvertently let slip.

“Unrequited love then.....” Chloe let the statement hang in the air for a moment and Brenda’s flinch at the words only confirmed that it was the right diagnosis.

“So, who is this ‘Sharon' then?” she asked, getting comfortable and fully facing the other woman now, but carefully keeping her hands to herself.

“Friend? Lover? Colleague? Boss?”

Brenda kept silent.

“Hey, I’m not judging!   
You’re looking at a person who has been cheated on for the past 2 years, so I think my taste in women is equal to, if not spectacularly worse than yours..... and I have the tiffany ring receipt and no ring to prove it!”

“She kept the ring, huh?” Brenda finally replied,   
“what. A. Bitch!”

“I’m more upset about the dog!” Chloe faux sulked.

They both snorted in laughter and then giggled again at the absurdity of their situations and the strange direction their encounter had taken.

“She ..... well, to be honest .....” Brenda was stuttering, not a thing that often happened to her, but she was struggling to process her thoughts and to therefore put into words what she wanted to say – 

“...... I don’t know any more WHAT she is .....” – and she shrugged helplessly.

“I guess, we started out as .... adversaries ....” she paused as she saw Chloe raise an eyebrow obviously surprised by the answer.

“Then, I don’t know..... she .... well, she wasn’t what I expected, you know?”

She didn’t need a response, but Chloe nodded encouragingly at her.

“She tried to save my job, my reputation .... my ass, basically.   
And even now, I don’t really know why.”

Chloe could see the confusion cloud those troubled caramel eyes, but she still kept silent.

“And I, well, I was nothing but an obstructive bitch to her..... both personally and professionally......   
I hated her.

She pushed all my buttons, ALL the fucking time! ...... 

..... and when I finally stepped away from my job, after her doing everything in her power to help me keep it ..... I couldn’t be around her anymore..... I couldn’t TRUST myself around her..... because, somewhere along the way the lines got blurred, and I...., I realised I didn’t hate her .....”

Brenda hastily swiped at an errant tear trickling down her cheek and shrugged again.

“You realised you loved her, huh?”

Brenda just nodded silently in reply.

“So, what happened? Haven’t you seen her since then?”

Brenda cleared her throat and wiped her eyes again before speaking.

“Eurgh!” came the frustrated sound leaving her soft pink lips.

“That’s not even the worst of it!”

She dropped her head forward, her eyes hooded, as she continued;

“I cut all contact. Left. Didn’t look back...... but she was so persistent. Callin and textin ...” her southern heritage became more apparent the more worked up she became.

“and .... we kinda became ‘friends', for want of a better word.

Lord knows, I don’t know how..... or why..... but, we did.

She knew some of my new colleagues and they’d invite her out to the same events, and sometimes we’d ‘bump' into each other ..... and, christ! ....  
it was SO awkward! .... but she just kept coming ... and she was ALWAYS trying to talk to me. 

I don’t know why, because I wasn’t very receptive ..... but, she was like a dog with a darned bone – she just wouldn’t give up!”

Brenda threw herself back in her chair, the frustration of her words making itself also apparent in her agitated mannerisms.

“And, somewhere along the line .... I realised I looked ... forward ... to seeing her at these events.....  
....... that I sought her out.

Slowly, we started to get together without the others - she got promoted to my old post – and at first it was all mostly shop talk, advice and stuff ..... and then .... well, then, ... it wasn’t.”

She looked at Chloe, as if she needed affirmation that what she was saying made sense to someone else, someone other than herself.

“We realised that we actually had a lot in common, and shop talk turned to normal, everyday conversations..... until we were in contact, like, everyday – even if it was just a text or a call to see how the day was going..... it was ... nice.

And the next thing I know, we’re best friends, staying at each other’s houses, I’m meeting her kids and they rely on me..... we share wine, holidays.... and our lives .....”

“So, when did you realise you were in love with her?” Chloe asked, now genuinely invested in the story and interested in its outcome.

“I don’t know ....” she answered, now wriggling in her seat like a kindergartener trying to lie to their teacher for the first time.

“Fine! Fine!” she sulked, when Chloe just stared impassively at her, refusing to let her evade the question.

“I found myself .... wanting to be in her space more....

I wanted to see if she was ok, how she was feeling, if she’d had a good day ..... and then I thought about how beautiful she was..... how I wanted to reach out more .... to touch her .... , to kiss her,” she all but whispered.

“Ok.... you got close and ‘feelings' developed. So, why not just tell her how you felt then?” Chloe queried, before immediately jumping into her next vocal thought ..... 

“wait, is she NOT gay? Is THAT the problem? Because, I have to tell you Brenda, a person would not be that persistent in chasing someone JUST to be their ‘friend’” 

\- and she used her fingers as quotation marks to make her point; 

“.... if there weren’t some sort of feelings involved ...... or if they weren’t seeking something more.  
Did you ever think of that?”

Brenda glared at her, angry at the other woman’s perceived character assassination of a woman that she had never actually met.

“What do you know? She hissed, trying to keep a lid on her infamous temper – a temper that would increase tenfold whenever she felt that Sharon was being berated or threatened.

“She’s NOT like that! SHE doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body .....” – leaving the implication out there that that was exactly what they both knew they were being.

“Well, if that’s the case then why haven’t you told her how you feel? Chloe countered back,“unless you’re scared of her reaction to a woman hitting on her? Is that it? She’s straight?”

Brenda’s face betrayed her.

“Wait a minute .....” Chloe gasped out, “..... does she know you're gay?!?!”

“I’m NOT gay!” Brenda practically shouted in the other woman’s face.

A single raised eyebrow in her direction was the only indication regarding Chloe’s disbelief in the words that Brenda was trying to convince them both with.

“I’m not!” she persisted.

“ I’m ..... I’m not ..... any one way ..... I guess, I just prefer ..... women .... more" and she shrugged as though that last declaration meant nothing.

“Oooookkkkkaaayyy,” came Chloe’s response, “glad that we established that! Heaven knows I like turning a straight girl as much as the next lesbian, but just so I’m clear – is the issue that Sharon is straight then? Because on the Kinsey scale of things, I have to say that the evidence you’ve presented so far would indicate that it wouldn’t be a problem for her.”

Brenda shook her head in frustration - frustration at herself for not being more coherent in vocalising her story, and, frustration at this stranger who had heard more of her private feelings than the woman they were actually talking about.

“She’s gay!” Brenda blurted, unable to stop herself.

“She’s gay .... she’s had ... several partners over the years .... and she has a partner now.....   
and..... fuck ..... just, arghhh, fuck!  
Satisfied??” she demanded, stopping her latest rant short.   
Her porcelain skin was brightly flushed and her eyes wide and panic ridden, her vulnerability clear to see.

“Again, you may have to explain things to me. Because from what I’m hearing, it seems like you BOTH prefer the ladies...... and if that is the case ...” Chloe shrugged, indicating her struggle to understand, “.... then what is the actual issue here?”

“Shedoesn'tactuallyknowthatIlikewomentoo" Brenda mumbled it so quietly yet quickly that Chloe struggled to catch it?

“Huh? Say again?

“She. Doesn’t. Actually. Know. That. I. Like. Women. Too" 

Brenda enunciated each word as though it pained her, before finally covering her face with her hands, exhausted with her admission.


End file.
